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Reviewer: TutThreeSevens Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jul 24, 2015 01:39 am Title: Chapter 16. Late Night Talks And Jokes

I figured she did like the kiss as dazed as she was lol.

Michael is something else.

Really I don't think that there's a difference with just hanging out or dating. If they're hanging out alone knowing they like each other they're dating in my book. But that's just me. Getting to know each other before they get into anything is a good idea. 

Her mom did get her though. That's what mommies do. They find out the scoop by any means necessary lol.

More soon. <333 

Author's Response:

Lol, yes she was. At least she ain't front.about it and lie and said she didn't like it. She's good at that fronting crap.

And Mike just plain crazy. What us gone do with him.

That's very much true. Either way it goes, they have feelings for each other so it would be considered as a date. 

And Tima's mom, Renita is a mess. She got Fatima to tell on herself. Lol. You're right, mommies do find out regardless. 

Reviewer: nene147 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 16, 2015 06:17 am Title: Chapter 2. Must Be New Around Here

Why do I feel drama coming?

Author's Response:

Lol. Girl you're the first person who said that. There's just gonna be a lil meeting between two people.

Reviewer: nene147 Signed [Report This]
Date: Jul 15, 2015 09:20 pm Title: Chapter 1. A New Life

That's some house alright!  <333 

I know it's hard moving into a new city and house. Going to a new school trying to find your place.

Author's Response:

Aww you finally started to read it. 

But yes, it can be hard because you have to get so used to alot of things you're not so familiar with and new people and school. I'm pretty sure she would fit in just fine. 

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jul 11, 2015 03:35 pm Title: Chapter 15. A Bet And A Kiss

That kiss was very sweet :)

I imagine Fatima has mixed feelings - lust combined with fear. She's torn.

Author's Response:

Lol yes it was. Some homebound be trying to add a lil tongue action and whatnot but it don't work like that. But I'm pretty sure she does have mixed emotions now. But we will find out in the next chapter.

Reviewer: TutThreeSevens Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jul 10, 2015 05:09 am Title: Chapter 15. A Bet And A Kiss

For real though these two are way to adorable. Michael is feeling her hard. 

I was so dead at "Juicy Pear headed ass nigga". DEAD you hear me. Lmaoooo. That and her threatening to back kick him in the nuts. I'm gonna use that one on folks.  

Mikey got ha numba...And Mikey wanna be more than just friends. Judging from his impulse to kiss her I would say he was caught in the moment. He didn't mean anything disrespectful by it. 

Mad for what's going brought Tima's head? Girl I can't even say. It could range from giddiness to down right wanting to really back kick his ass in the nuts. Several times. 

Cute chapter once again.

More soon BB!! <333

Author's Response:

Lol, ikr. These to are just, ugh!!!! And he is feeling hard. HARD girl.

Lmao!!! Juicy pear head as  nigga and back kickingin the nuts just came to me. And girl you're free to use it. I'ma use it on my boyfriend since he likes to play to much.

So Mike happy he got dat numbaaaa. We all know Mike wants to b  not  than just friends with Tima but he's willing to wait. He just don't know for how long.

Oh and the kiss....hmmm, he was caught in the moment alright. Caught in it deep. Lol. 

As for Tima's thoughts, it's a possibility she's going back and forth feeling giddy or wanting to screw his ass up. We won't know until the next chapter.


Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 27, 2015 11:38 am Title: Chapter 1. A New Life

I'll give them a look. I haven't read them thusfar as I'm not much for the "It Girl that everyone wants to be/wants to date gets Michael" scenario.  That's why I'd been waiting for this story to get longer. I prefer a different spin and I tend to binge read.

Author's Response:

Okay. And that's very understandable. But whenever you do, don't hesitate to write you opinion about them, as I said before. Just want your input on the little that is written for both stories thus far.

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 11:17 pm Title: Chapter 14. Likes, Dislikes And Qualities

It's definitely one of if not your best chapter thus far. It felt like people weren't just talking to talk (which is often the case when people are first meeting).  Well, at least Michael and Fatima. I'm not sold on the female friends....they are nosy as hell and have yet to share anything with Fatima. They're just friendly enough and currently on a pretty superficial side.Yet, they expect more from her......

Ugh. Now I'm caught up and I want moooooore. I could totally see Fatima pulling back a little, getting closer with Michael, then pulling back a bit as time goes on. It sounds like she's had it rough, so it'll take her a bit to trust. In the meantime, I could see Michael feeling like he's a yo-yo and getting frustrated. But first, school and that party. What's going to happen when people get drunk or high?

Author's Response:

Aww thanks so much. 

And yes the female friend are a bit on the nosy side, just Arianne the most. Kennedi doesn't really seem to be nosy only when Arianne drags her name into it. If that makes any sense. Lol. And yes, the do seem as if they are. As for sharing anything with Fatima, I guess they want to wait till the friendship become more of what it is then they'll be not open. The same goes for Fatima. It depends on what they're sharing though. 

Fatima is like a car jerking backwards and forward because that's what she's doing with Michael as you said she's pulling back then getting closer and it goes on and on. She wants to get close but is afraid after what happened in her last relationship with her ex Ace which will be mentioned sometime during the story.

As for Michael, he does seem pretty frustrated being that she was frontin' in the beginning acting like she didn't like his boldness and the fact that she wasn't coming clean to her lil' feelings for him. Being that he likes her alot already, he's willing to wait for her open up and let him in on her own time when she's ready. 

Now that party after school, no telling what's gonna happen. Just stay tuned.

Btw, I have two other stories by the name of New Flame and Running Back Into You, I would love to hear you opinion on them. I just recently came up with them about a month or two ago. I just want to know what you think of them so far. I have another story too ,I Love You Always And Forever. You don't have to worry about that one but it's up to you if you wanna check it out. But the first too I mentioned, I would love to know your feedback on them. 

Reviewer: Redone Signed [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 13. Got It Bad

Damn, how did they end up at the same place?! LA is huge.

Author's Response:

Are you talking about Arianne, Kennedi and Xandria at the arcade? If so, that would be mentioned in the next chapter when everyone leaves.

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 10:28 pm Title: Chapter 12. The Three Muskaroaches/New Follower

I love how Shanelle approached her and spoke in proper English. That's like Teen 101 for signs someone is being fake.

She got me in that category. No lie.

Ugh. I needed this. One of my huge pet peeves is when the OG thinks she's the shit. Most people have actual insecurities that aren't things that evaporate immediately. You've got the basis of a great story and I was just like "don't let her be a complete cliche!"


Author's Response:

Lol, your review about Shanelle approaching Fatima was different from everyone's. Most reviewers were like, "Uh, uh, she better chill or she gonna get it." Something like that. But you're a first, which is very refreshing I should say. 

Is it really a pet peeve of yours?? Lol.  But I get what you're saying about the insecurities and such. How can you be insecure one minute and not the next minute. 

And thanks, if you want, I don't mind receiving advice on how to write or something. I take well with criticism so if you feel anything you want to say I should consider then go right ahead. From the way you speak, it seem to me as if you're a great writer and know your stuff. Feel free to leave any if you like.

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 11. Tryin' To Break Ya Down...Butchu Playin'/Starting Off As Friends

Following her on IG doesn't mean he's feeling her; just that he's nosy and likes to look lol.

Girl I was about to rant if she jumped into a relationship with him. I'm glad she's waiting and wantint to start out as friends. He can't hit it that quick. Shoot, I'm surprised she's telling him her feelings without knowing the whole backstory about him and Hassan.

Author's Response:

Lol, you know how these lil girls are nowadays about these lil boys. But that's true, he was being nosy.

And no, Fatima ain't that crazy to move on that fast. No baby. Friends it is, and friends it will be until whatever happens that may lead yo something more. You gotta let things work out on their own instead of rushing it yourself.

But she will be getting to know the back story of him and Hassan soon. Just got to wait for the right time being that they are just starting yhis friends relationship and whatnot. Can't jump to personal things so fast.

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 07:42 pm Title: Chapter 10. Partners With The Annoyance

I think it'll be Michael; she's a fool if she doesn't listen to her intuition. Go with the guy her new friends seem to trust.

I hope Fatima plays hard to get. Thus far it's been what, a day? That's not playing hard to get...that's waiting to get to know someone. He's coming on too strong and needs to back off. If she goes for him now, it'll be kinda cliche. She's too guarded for her walls to drop so fast.

Author's Response:

Yes, this she needs to ask Michael about the situation rather than Hassan. Knowing him, he would probably lie.

An  yes, she needs to play hard to get to know if Mike's feelings for her are REALLY true and not what just Arianne and everyone else says. But it's pretty obvious that's he's digging her and vice versa already which is fine, but not knowing what she went through in her past relationship, he should kind of back off and give her some space and time. 

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 10:12 am Title: Chapter 9. The Clique

LOL re: Louisiana. I got confused because in my comment to you about traffic in LA, you brought up Louisiana. Then you asked in a "Chapter End Notes" if anyone was from Louisiana. I couldn't figure out why you'd call a place by a state name, but then you hadn't mentioned a LA neighborhood, which is what people go by as reference points in LA (since the demographics vary so much by neighborhood) so I wasn't sure.

I think you already said what led to Hassan and Michael disliking eachother - Hassan screwing Michael's ex. I think Hassan may admit to his past, but he'll try throwing out that "but your different" crap. I'm quickly approaching the end of what's been posting. Eeep!

Author's Response:

Lol, yeah I sure did. I was just asking if any of my readers were from Louisiana. Idk if I was referring to the Mardi Gras parades because during that time, wasn't updating much due to marching in New Orleans almost everyday for ours in the parade. I'm not sure, I can't remember exactly. But, yeah I was talking about the city L.A. not Louisiana, lol. 

And no I didn't say EXACTLY what happened between Mike and Hassan and why they're disliking each other so much yet. But Mike was giving hints as to what may have happened tho in one of the chapters. But what you said, was on point tho. You're a a few steps ahead which is fine. 

Hassan may admit and he may not, if Fatima asks him why he and Michael are beefing. But being that Michael is really and truly liking her, it's possible he may be the one to tell the truth about them. It's who she chooses to ask. But I prefer Michael. 

And I can't wait for you to get towards the end of what I have been posting cause there's another hint in the chapters too. I'll be waiting for you to bring it up in the reviews :)

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 07:48 am Title: Chapter 5. Welcome To Lenoir High School

I forgot to mention - I've been eying this story for a while but was just waiting until it got to be a certain length. What kind of feedback do you prefer?

Re: your response about how this dialogue is similar to how your friends speak. I think a lot of people on this board could say the same thing. The difference is that you use still use punctuation and don't randomly capitalize words ;)

I'm confused: is this in LA or Louisiana?

Author's Response:

Oh thats fine. As for the feedback I prefer.....hmmm, can I say it doesn't matter. Whatever you may feel about the story or what you do and don't like or if something may happen in the next chapter, it does not matter. Everyone has their own opinion and review about it. 

And I don't think I was being more specific when I was responding. The characters in this story is based on their characteristics that's how I come up with the characters to make it seem more believable than fake being that I know how they act with people and things like that. Or it doesn't have to be my friends exactly, just people I know very well. It's all about their characteristics and how they act not how they speak. And yes, I use punctuation and capitalize my words. Lol :) I read a few stories that don't seem to do that all the time. But being in honors English and do well in English since grade school on up, I can't help but to do what the rules say in a English book. :) 

And I'm sorry for any confusion about the location in this story, its in L.A. in California. Nobody's in Louisiana in this. But in the first chapter or two, if you read Fatima's pov, you would see that she was talking about 'Cali Coochie' girls as in messy California girls. I'm surprised you didn't see that. Everyone else who read this story knew the setting took place in California. But it's okay if you were confused. My apologies. But I'm still shocked you didn't see that. Lol.

Reviewer: TutThreeSevens Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 26, 2015 06:53 am Title: Chapter 14. Likes, Dislikes And Qualities

Awe the ending was really sweet. Michael is really feelin Tima. That dude must have done a number on her. 

More soon! <333

Author's Response:

Girl, yes it was. As I was writing, I was thinking, how about I end it on a more sweeter note than Mike's usual annoying self. And it's obvious that he did do a number on her. Talking about she felt drawn t him. Hmmm ;)  She's wants to open up 'feelings wise' to him but is scared because of what she went through in the past with her ex before moving to California. It's just gonna take some time for her to let go.

Reviewer: Redone Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: Jun 25, 2015 11:16 pm Title: Chapter 4. Feisty

I like your dialogue - it feels natural and really flows.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I think it comes naturally when you are surrounded by friends who kind of act like the characters in the story. I guess that helps to create a better naturalism for the characters instead of doing too much, ya know.

Thanks for the review and hope to hear more from you.


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