Cared with the Angel by Clouds
Summary:

 

Excited, happy, and a drunken Michael made love to his friend, Alicia, unknowingly the night he was inducted to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. Alicia becomes paranoid of the  fact that Michael forgot what happened that night, and she fears that their friendship would never be the same. As Michael produces of what would be his final studio album, Invincible, he realizes Alicia's actions become far more strange than ever before. When she finds out she's pregnant with his child, her fear and anxiety of Michael's rejection leads her to do daring moves that would potentially harm both herself and him.  Thinking that her problems beforehand were already stressing enough, she tries dealing with this problem the way she thinks its best. Both Michael and Alicia go on an adventure caused by love, hatred, lies and in which they seek for freedom, truth, and relief.

This story is in 2001, the Invincible Era.


Categories: Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, Family Characters: Original Girl
General Warnings: None
Trigger Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 7 Completed: No Word count: 20886 Read: 39030 Published: Feb 05, 2011 Updated: Apr 30, 2011
Story Notes:

Note: All publicy recognizable characters, settings, etc. are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

1. Prologue by Clouds

2. Chapter 1: Everyone Has an Option by Clouds

3. Chapter 2: You'll Tell Me When the Time is Right by Clouds

4. Chapter 3: Family is Greater than Business by Clouds

5. Chapter 4: Happy Damn Birthday by Clouds

6. Chapter 5 Part A: Am I Nuts? by Clouds

7. Chapter 5 Part B: "I Know It's Not Me." by Clouds

Prologue by Clouds

May 2001.

The night was calm and beautiful. The sky was clear and dark, with the beautiful stars twinkling and lighting the darkened city. Tall buildings flashed off patterns in which people were still working. A certain area of the town was hosting a glamorous after party for the newest inductions for the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. The newest and most-talked about inductee of the night was the legendary King of Pop, Michael Jackson. He was the youngest inductee they ever had-- just at 42, he was probably the most successful entertainer there has ever been.

He was accompanied by his entourage of several bodyguards and a very good friend of his. Michael was extremely happy that night and wanted to celebrate it the best way he could. After several drinks at the party, he still wanted to continue his celebration away from the strobe lights and the constant bombardment of people that wouldn't stop congradulating him for his newest achievement. His two beautiful children were back in the hotel sleeping and under the care of their nanny, Grace. He felt boozed, and decided to go home immediately with his friend, Alicia. By the way she was acting, she was a little less boozed then he was, but he didn't want to drop her off at her home drunk.

As they returned from the amazing after-party, Michael's driver stopped in the back of the hotel, which was a usual routine that Michael has been doing his whole life. With the help of his bodyguards, no one noticed both Michael and Alicia were drunk. Though Michael rarely got drunk, let alone his rare consumption of alcohol, it was an exception. For some reason, he was extremely happy receiving an award with a woman he loved to call his friend. It was a good night for both of them since they were under the constant stress of job-related issues.

They reached Michael's suite carefully. Alicia crazily jumped on Michael's bed, since the effect of alcohol was taking action. Michael laughed as he took off his white suit jacket and loosened his dark blue tie. He certainly did not want to leave Alicia in the state she was in, so there was no other choice but than have her stay in another suite since Michael rented an entire floor. His children were in a Grace's suite, since he did not want them to be alone.

"I'm extremely tired," Alicia yawned sarcastically as she sat down on Michael's extremely comfortable bed.

"I'm not, the night's still not over!" Michael exclaimed as he jumped onto the other side of the bed where Alicia was at.

"Well it's best not to get caught by your children or the bodyguards for being this drunk!" Alicia exclaimed. "I'll stay here until you fall asleep."

"But you're not goin' anywhere. I need t' keep a wa'shful eye. I dun't want you to go home dr-drunk." Michael demanded. "I'm perfectly fine hur'."

"Nu' your not! Michael, loo' at yourself, yu' more drunken than I am." Alicia realized as she walked over to Michael's side.

Michael instantly shot his body up. "No, le's get anu'der cup!"

Alicia grabbed his arms, pushing him down back to the bed, which tossed him to lay down. She firmly grabbed his shoulders so he wouldn't struggle to move. "Yu'r going to sleep, and that's final! Your excitement is over for tonight. If you sleep now, your hangover won't be as bad tomorrow!"

Michael cheekily smiled as he gazed into her eyes. "Dih' I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes?"

She blushed instantly since Michael never complimented her eyes before. Michael jerked his head up and reached her lips. Surprised, Alicia loosened her grip on Michael's shoulders and slowly sinked closer to his body as their lips jointed for a passionate kiss. Alicia locked and intertwined her hands with Michael's soft black hair as their bodies shifted. Alicia didn't know what she was doing it, or why, but it was happening. Connecting with Michael made it seem as if she didn't have any problems to deal with, as if she had a job, and as if her life was completely alright. The power that Michael had on her was strong.

As their heated make-out continued, Michael slowly unzipped the zipper of Alicia's short, black, ruffled dress. Michael's nerves tingled and his heart was racing. His clothes were loose, and were easily taken off. Neither of them knew what exactly was going on, but they embraced it. The moment felt right, and the mood was set into place for the first time in a very long time...

* * *

The following morning, Alicia woke up by the look on Michael's face along with a massive headache. He had no shirt on, and his hair was now curled. His calm face glowed under the sunlight. It took her a moment to realize what had happened to her when she noticed every garment of clothing she wore the night before was scattered in the suite floor. Her eyes immediately widened as she pulled and looked under her cover, confirming what happened.

She wasn't sure how it was possible for that to happen, but it was done and she could not change the past. She was extremely scared that Michael would remember what occured and wouldn't want to speak to her again since they were no where near the 'liking eachother' status. Alicia was flabbergasted on how it easily slipped. Strange feelings were filling her head and it was hard for her to think straight. She made love with a man that was her only friend that was with her through her crisis that seemed never-ending. What will happen to their friendship after this? Will Michael remember what went on? How will she act around him? Will Michael ever be the same friend he was before? Tears were rolling down her eyes as she faced the hard-faced truth.
Instantly grabbing her clothes, she went straight to the bathroom to take a quick shower. As the water flowed through her body as she stood there motionless, she had to come up with something quick. She was sure that Michael felt absolutely nothing for her, since she used to be a prescription drug addict, and her whole life was completely turned upside down from the moment she stepped at her first job as a secretary for Sony Pictures Entertainment eleven years back. Michael was her only friend and Alicia was Michael's only friend that knows the true hardship of overcoming an addiction due to constant stress that family caused-- as well as for personal actions. Now their whole friendship would be taken to another whole level that she never saw coming.

Once she was out of the shower and had no other option than to wear the same clothes she was wearing the day before, she cleaned up the mess that was only Michael's clothing. She folded them neatly and placed them on the mahagony table that was nearby. She picked out a white rose from the flower vase in the dining room and placed it next to Michael's sleeping self. She wrote a note, and left it on the table for Michael to read once he woke up. She kissed his forehead before leaving his suite.

As she walked out the door, she was stopped by one of Michael's security guards.

"Whatever you heard or saw last night please don't tell Michael. I'm much more surprised than you are, and telling Michael what went on would get him distracted from focusing on his album. And it's best if we both let this go. If he asks, tell him I had trouble at home and you took me home early this morning. He would understand." Alicia stated before Michael's bodyguard could even say a word.

Tears were continuing to roll down her eyes as she left the hotel and walked to the streets of New York. Her house was a couple miles away but it didn't bother her since the long walk would let her process everything carefully. Considering the fact that her personal life was basically hell for her at the moment, another dilemma did not make things any better for her. Though she was still shocked herself, she needed to make decisions right at that very moment. What is she going to tell Michael if he remembered? How are they going to settle things between them? Is it best to leave and forget about him completely, though it'll rip a hole in her heart? How will she act around him now? Now that she no longer has a job with Michael, would it be best to say she wants to go home to Mexico? So many questions needed answers and it seemed like Alicia was the only one that had them.
Things just slipped so quick and suddenly that Alicia was getting stressed out on what to do. She wasn't paying much attention to the route she was taking home but everything that had to do with Michael slowly turned into her paranoia. She never knew that in the end from a neverending fight with Michael about going to the event with him would result in more chaos. She thought it was a good idea to join him to leave her stress for once, but it only made matters worse. Slowly realizing what ideas were coming up in her head, she soon realized that these answers would not result in a good outcome.

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Michael slowly regained his ability to think but was burdened by a massive and untolerable headache. His eyes opened carefully, taking what he can take in for the moment. Michael looked around, noticing that his suite was clean, but it seemed like it needed to be cleaned. Paper was everywhere, clothes that Michael was thinking about wearing was lying on the floor, and it looked like someone was in his suite. As he got up, his headache throbbed extremely. He knew he drunk alcohol at the ceremony and the after party, but he didn't know it was that much considering the fact that Michael doesn't remember what happened since the party. It took him a while to realize that the only thing that touched his skin was the blanket he slept on. He was curious to why he was nude, but it didn't matter to him. If he didn't remember, then it simply happened.

After he changed into a simple black pair of pants and a white v-neck t-shirt, Michael cleaned up a bit before his children would come running to him. He threw away every paper that looked useless on the dining room table, and placed the white rose that layed there back in it's vase. He remembered Alicia and worried if she got home. But he was sure his bodyguards took her home safely.

He walked out of his suite, seeing his bodyguard, Carlos standing right by the door.

"Where's Alicia?" Michael asked.

Carlos paused for a moment. "Uh, she told me she had trouble at home, and she requested that I took her back."

Michael raised his eyebrows. Why didn't she even wake him up to say good-bye? "Well thank you, Carlos for doing that for me. I need to remember what went on last night."

"You don't remember?" Carlos sounded shocked.

"No, unfortunately."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson." Carlos apologized in a low voice.

"Don't worry, I'm sure everything went fine. God bless you." Michael said as he walked back to his suite.



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Once Alicia was settled at her apartment, she had finally come to her conclusions towards what she'd do first. She didn't want to complicate things with Michael, which would be the last thing she'd ever do. Burdening Michael with her problems, and even having him in her problems is too much for her. She prefers to deal with her situations promptly before they grow into something that can't be avoidable.
She needed to talk to Michael. She needed to know if Michael remembered anything, but what if he didn't? He would be suspicious to the things that happened. Everything was driving her crazy now a days. She lost her position as handler for Teddy Riley, Michael's producer, her boyfriend and herself are constantly fighting, she's starting to not have money to pay for her rent and bills, now she made love with a man that she never expected on doing it with-- while she was dating her boyfriend. It's tempting her to take a few pills to relieve her headache, but she did not want to relive 1992. The only thing that Alicia could do at the moment was to wait, and sometimes being patient is the only solution...



July 2001 -- Two months later

Just as matters didn't go any better for Alicia, she realized the number of her checking account was decreasing dramatically. She needed to find a job as soon as possible or else she would have to leave New York for good. Leaving New York seemed like a good idea just about now, but she was tired of running away from her problems and leaving them to be fixed by others. But sometimes she felt that leaving was the best way to fix things by starting out fresh, or regaining herself.

She made herself a nice breakfast at her apartment complex since she didn't have anything of much importance to do. She was planning to look for a job and avoid Michael as much as possible since they haven't talked to eachother much since the party two months prior. They were both nervous around eachother which led Alicia to the presumption that Michael knew about that night. It scared her since talking to him properly would have to be done sooner or later. Suddenly, the phone ranged constantly, ruining the moment with her thoughts.

"Hello? Alicia speaking." Alicia answered nicely.

"Alicia, it's me." Michael answered since he did not like calling his own name.

"Hi Michael..." She said nervously. "What's the matter?"

"I need to talk to you seriously and I hope we can talk privately." Michael asked sternly.

Her eyes widened with fear. Did he find out? "Uuuh, sure, anytime is a good time."

"Great, I will be right up."

"You knew I was going to say yes?" She laughed softly.

"So I just waited outside..." Michael smirked, knowing Alicia's believable answers.

She sighed. "Alright, don't get caught though."

"I won't."


Alicia only had a short matter of time to get herself together. She had a feeling it would be about that drastic night. She was extremely nervous and her whole body felt like jello. It would be the day that she would finally talk to Michael, hopefully it would be for the better. She was afraid that if she fell in love with him, it would only bring misery to both of them, and she didn't want to bother Michael. She wanted to clear out her problems, and it's best to take care of the newly blossomed ones before they ripen and turn ugly. She wanted to change, she wanted to change her whole life around since she was tired of being under stress and not being happy. She deserved to be happy with life and she didn't deserve to live the hardships of life itself.

The door knocked, and Alicia knew it was Michael by the way he did it. His knocks were soft and rhythmic. She opened the door carefully and Michael's strong scent flourished through her nostrils. She drew a nervous smile to her face so she wouldn't alarm Michael with her anguish.

"I wanted to talk to you about something serious..." Michael began.

"I needed to tell you something too..." Alicia started as well.

"You go first."

"No, you came here for a purpose and I want to know what it is." Alicia demanded as they both walked in side to side.

"Well, I want to offer you a job with me at the studio as my assistant producer. I know you're great at writing." Michael suggested. "And I missed you a lot, it would be a great way to be together."

"You're offering me a job nearly as similar as the former job I had with your producer? Do you want me to be yelled at by hiim or something?!" Alicia thought, since she was fired by Teddy due to her tardiness. "I have to think about it."

"If you take this job until my album is released in September, you wouldn't have to worry about financial problems anytime soon." Michael added.

"I don't want help from you, Michael. It's the last thing I'd go for..." Alicia reminded him as she walked away.

"Alicia, it's a friend helping a friend, and friends do things for eachother right? You've helped me get back on my feet through the small amount of words you gave me that pushed me foward. It's my turn. Please." Michael begged.

She turned to him and gave him a cold glare. "Alright. If you stop begging, I'll do it."

"Thank you, Alicia!" Michael smiled as he hugged her. "Now what is it that you were going to tell me?"

"Uhh, I'm not sure." She laughed nervously. "Hey, do you remember the Induction Ceremony back in May?"

"Yes, how can I forget?" Michael questioned.

"I'm sure you don't remember waking up in a bed do you?" She asked.

"I don't remember absolutely anything after the ceremony. I barely remembered the afterparty, let alone how I got into bed." Michael answered honestly. "Why do you ask?"

"I really enjoyed it, it made me forget about my problems." Alicia said.

What is she going to do now that Michael doesn't remember what happened that night?





End Notes:

How will Alicia will react with Michael now? Will Michael remember that night? How will she explain things to him?

Chapter 1: Everyone Has an Option by Clouds
Author's Notes:

Honest feedback, please!

Early August

 

 

The sirens were getting nearer and louder as Michael tried to keep Alicia awake. Her face turned pale and flushed; she wouldn't open her eyes, and there was no movement from her. Michael held her in his arms as he cried for the ambulance to come. Teddy grew worried as well since both Alicia and himself settled their differences once Michael rehired her. Michael was excited for recording that same day, hopefully he would officially complete a song. Turns out, the day ended with quite a fear.

The paramedics got through the recording studio and examined Alicia's seemingly lifeless body as they placed her onto a gurney. One placed two fingers on her wrist, trying to find a pulse.

"Is she going to be alright?" Michael asked as he stood up.

"For right now we there's no solid answer. How did she look or acted before fainting?" The paramedic asked.

"I'm not sure, her eyes looked flushed, and she nonverbally complained that it was hot." Michael replied honestly.

"Do you know if she has eaten or drunk anything today?" He questioned.

"Not that I know of; I'm sure she ate, but I didn't bother to ask." Michael felt guilty for not realizing about Alicia's health.

As they moved the gurney out of the recording studio out to the lobby, Michael and Teddy followed.

"We'll keep you updated, Mr. Jackson. We would have to monitor her carefully if this is the first time that it occured." He informed politely.

"Please keep me updated with absolutely anything. I'll go as soon as I can; I know I can't go at the moment." Michael requested.

"Yes sir."

The placed Alicia into the ambulance, and the truck quickly left the sight. Michael was extremely worried and wanted to go with her, but he knew he couldn't stay at the hospital since he was so impatient. He wouldn't be able to concentrate at the moment but he was relieved that his recording was done for the day.

He couldn't picture the reason why Alicia fainted so suddenly. Was she hiding something Michael didn't know about? Michael felt completely guilty for not noticing how she was doing. He thought she would be a little less stressed since she finally got a job. Alicia had a lot of explaining to do, since he had never told her what was wrong with her. He wanted to visit the hospital immediately, so he prayed that the paparazzi or fans would follow him. He thanked Riley for joining with him before leaving the studio to go to the hospital.

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"Can you hear me? Alicia, can you hear me?" The doctor called out as Alicia slowly regained conciousness.

Her eyes blinked constantly. The doctor laughed as a sign of relief. "What? What happened?" She asked as she felt a little strange. "Why am I in the hospital?"

"You fainted a couple hours ago, and you were brought here half-unconcious. Your friend Mr. Jackson called the ambulance since he didn't know what to do." The doctor informed her.

"What?" She asked lazily as she massaged one of he temples. "Michael called?"

"Indeed. You were very dehydrated and we had to put you on an IV. It seems like you didn't drink a lot of fluids for the past day or two." He informed once again. "What was the last thing you ate?"

"I'm not sure, I've been eating a lot of fruits the last week or so. I just had the urge to eat them," Alicia remembered. "I think I had grapes for dinner along with a salad without any water."

He chuckled. "Interesting. Now tell me, have you been feeling lazy?"

"Now that you mentioned it, yes." She suddenly realized.

"Nausea?"

"A bit."

"In the morning?"

"Um, yes."

"Interesting. Very interesting. So I suppose you don't know what's wrong with you?" The doctor smirked.

"I've been asking myself that question for the past decade." She laughed sarcastically.

"Aah, I know what it is." He smiled.

"What?" She asked confusingly, thinking the doctor was bizzurk. "What are you talking about?"

"You're pregnant."

The words instantly repeated in her head. "I'm-- WHAT?!"
"You're. Pregnant." He repeated once again.

"How is that possible?!"

"Well, when two people begin the intimacy--"

"I know that! No, no no no no no no no, it can't be possible. No it can't! Damn it!" Alicia complained realizing the cause of all her strange habits the past month or so.

"You're about 10 weeks along, Alicia." He added.

"I'M NOT EVEN WITH HIM!!" Alicia yelled to herself as she burried herself into the hospital pillow.

"Well there could be a logical explanation to all this, Miss Alicia. You'll be staying for a couple more hours before I can release you, just to make sure. I'll be having check-ups for your baby regularly." The doctor ordered before leaving.

She couldn't believe it. She never even thought about this consequence. Her life was tumbling down faster than ever before. She knew for sure it was Michael's child, no doubt about it. How will she ever tell Michael that her child is his? She afraid of Michael's reaction if he ever found out. Since there was no chemistry between the two, and they were only friends, she would probably need to keep the baby from him as much as possible. Michael was a very smart man, but since he didn't remember when they wree in the process of making the baby, was it worth telling Michael? The legal actions and the law is what worried her the most.

Now that she thought of it, how will she ever pay for the medical insurance? She was always tight on money, and she was not ready to have a child with anyone. Having a family was completely at the far end of the list of the things she would like to do. She wasn't emotionally, financially, or psychologically ready to have this child. Completely, abortion was no option; she couldn't kill a human being that was growing inside of her. Keeping the baby or adoption was her only choice but it was really difficult what would be best.

Other than the fact that she's having a baby with a man that was only her friend, tears of joy rolled down her cheek because a little human being was growing inside of her. Soon she would be feeling his or her kicks, and she would have something that was practically her. That was the only good part of this entire situation; a new child would be born, to be raised properly and set forth and break limits in the future. Just as Alicia felt relieved for the first time in a while, the door knocked as a nurse came in.

"Miss Alicia, you have a visitor. Would you like for me to send him in?" She asked politely.

"Yes, please send him in." Alicia smiled knowing who it was.

After a slight moment, Michael's head appeared; he wasn't wearing anything nice, just regluar clothes and no disguse this time. "Knock knock..." He walked slowly. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I feel fine. I just want to leave this damn place." Alicia laughed as she played around with her finger.

"Alicia..." Michael called as he sat besides her bed. "Why didn't you tell me about how you felt? If you didn't feel fine, I would of sent you home immediately to get rest."

"That's the reason why I didn't tell you." Alicia pointed out. "I was so excited that I finally got a job in the place that I really love spending my time with, but I didn't want to make the same mistakes I did with Teddy. I want to start out new; I want to live a happy life, a life that I want to call my own, and not being burdened with problems that seem neverending. I just didn't want to dissapoint you in anyway."

"You're health and yourself comes first before anything, Alicia! It doesn't matter what I feel about it, if you don't feel good, I'll let you stay home. Even if you're not working, still tell me if you're not fine because you don't know how worried I got because you fainted? Don't hide anything from me anymore, you have to learn how to trust me completely." Michael explained honestly.

Her eyes began to water. "I've just been paranoid about worrying and dissapointing others since I've drawn myself into rehab. I'm a complete mess, I don't see how you're nice enough to be my friend. I'm just a failure at life, and I don't deserve such a great friendship that I have with you." Alicia cried.

"You're anything but a failure at life, Alicia. Don't you see how much I treasure your friendship? Don't you remember how we met? We surely did get off on the wrong foot."

______________________________________

1993


"I don't want to go to this pathetic meeting!" Alicia complained as she huddled under her blanket.

"You have to, Alicia, you're here for a reason, and this will help you!" The doctor called out.

"Kari, Do you expect me to just say my problems to complete strangers?!" Alicia questioned angry.

"It'll relieve your stress, trust me." Kari promised. "Either way, you're required to go tonight, at least. We must see what can we do to help you, but in order to do that, we must know the psychological depth of the problem."

"Relieve my stress? Apparently you don't know anything about stress, Miss Kari. I want the help but I don't think this is the way to go! I feel like I'm in a nut house!" Alicia exlaimed, ready to burst into tears.

"Just this once, we have to be observant of which treatment will work best for you, that way you can feel most comfortable while getting cured." Kari tried her best to persuade her patient.

"Pfff." Alicia hesitated. "Just this once, but don't expect me to do or say anything again if you force me into it again."

"Thank you. I just need your cooperation, and if we don't have that, it'll be more difficult to help. We're all about helping you." Kari promised.

Alicia narrowed her eyes at her doctor. "I would like to be left alone before hell begins, thank you very much."

She nodded her head before walking out the door to Alicia's room. As she opened the door, there was a lot of commotion with people ratting their mouths out. Doctors were running here and there, which the sight of constant and abstract movement got Alicia dizzy. She slowly got up from her bed, wondering what was going on.

"What's going on? Is there something wrong with a patient?" Alicia worried.

"No, it's not that. Kari said, opening the door wider, going to the scene. "A celebrity has arrived to our facility."

"Celebrity? Famous people go here?" Alicia whispered. All she saw from her room were tall men wearing black suits along with doctors and nurses. The white hall was usually alone and calm, but that someone was causing all this ruckus and she didn't like it one bit. Let alone she hated coming here, the least she wanted was tranquilty-- something that she never had the chance to have. She faintly saw who the man was from the crowd; he was wearing a black fedora that covered the long black wavy hair that he had. She couldn't recognize exactly who he was, or his reason to come here but she didn't like him one bit.

She ignored the crowd to the best of her ability and spent her time glaring at the clock. Her room was relatively small and it only had the basics; a bed, drawer, a lamp, a window and a clock. In less than an hour she would be in a room full of stangers that had addictions like hers, but she did not like the idea of confessing what she felt to them. But she had to cooperate one way or another in order to leave the place much quicker. She didn't even remember how she ended up in the facility but there was no way of leaving until she was detoxified completely. She wanted to be cured, but she thought there was no way in doing it.

Someone knocked on her door, and it was Dr. Kari calling to join her for the meeting. She grunted as she walked with her through halls she's never seen before, but once they reached the room, everyone was waiting on her. All eyes were on her, which made her grew nervous than she already was. The patients were all in a circle on the floor like kindergartners waiting to be read a story. The same tall men with black suits that she saw earlier were in the back of the room with no expression on their face and had their arms crossed.
"Sorry for the interuptance, but we had one more person on the list. This is Alicia Inglesias, a new patient that arrived a week ago." Dr. Kari introduced.

"Who was next?" Another doctor asked.

Before anyone could answer, the door opened, and a man with a ivory white winter jacket walked in. His face was hard to see since he was wearing a dark black hat with aviator sunglasses. The whole room stared back at him. Alicia was too fustrated to look or even guess to who exactly he was, but she knew it was the celebrity. She turned around and stared at from head to toe, thinking that he was bizzurk to what he was wearing.

"Sorry I'm late..." He lightly said to Dr. Kari.

"Not a problem, Michael. We were just introducing a new patient as well. You can sit down now." She said, reffering to Alicia.

She grunted feeling like she was treated improperly. As she sat down she didn't look at anyone.

"This is Michael Jackson and he will be joining us tonight." Dr. Kari introduced. "You may have a seat next to Miss Inglesias."

Michael walked over to Alicia and sat next to her. She didn't bother to say anything to him. She wasn't starstruck, or mesmerized by him, she was just confused to why he was there. She felt Michael look at her from time to time as people said their stories. There was so many questions she wanted to ask him to why he was there, but because of him, her residency to the clinic would not be peaceful.

"Would you please stop staring at me?!" Alicia demanded in a whisper, feeling like she couldn't take his staring any longer.

"I'm sorry." Michael whispered. "I wanted to apologize."

"For??"

"The doctor's treatment of you."

"Pff." She snorted.

"What was that for?" Michael asked surprised.

"Because of you, I won't be able to enjoy this damn time with peace. Let alone I hate being here; why would I tell my problems to strangers? I'd rather get treatment personally and one-on-one. So if you'll excuse me, Mr. Jackson, I'm not in the very best moods." Alicia snapped.

"Well, I'm very sorry for your dissapointment, but I'm not really fond of this either. I would be the one who would least want to spill out my problems to people I don't even know." Michael said.

"Miss Alicia, since you're quite talkative tonight, it's your turn." Dr. Kari snapped.

"Do I have to?" She grunted like a ten year old.

She nodded.

She sighed deeply. "I'm..." She paused for a moment. "Alicia Inglesias, and I'm a perscription drug addict. I've been an on and off addict for three years and I feel I have no solution. It all started when I got a job at Epic Records as a secretary/producer/song writer in 1990. My boss was an ass, to be honest. I never signed up for the kind of crap he made me go through. He wanted a song about a keeping' a relationship hidden from everyone by one day, and another song about looking back at the times of lovers two days after. He made me produce a basic sound for the songs, but it was gruelling work. I never saw my 'family', I never had time for myself, and along the line, my boyfriend began to get furious with me about it. I was always alone in my life; I grew apart from my parents since I've been paranoid with rejection ever since I could remember. But this man was crazy; he never told me who these songs were for, he just demanded them. Because I literally spent most of my time working, everything else began to kick in. My paychecks came late often, so I couldn't pay the bills and my boss got pissed off when I had writer's block. My boyfriend had a very bad temper and we fought a lot. All that stress got me depressed so I turned to medication. I sensed they made me relieved. After my boss had told me he didn't need me for a while, I went to Mexico to visit this church I grew up with and got help from the priest. But once the recording began, it was hell all over. I just couldn't deal with the stress anymore, but it was the only job I had and I had to keep it. Now I was high most of the time to be able to work, and my boss sent me here so I'd go back and do the same thing."


"Happy?" Alicia hoped that she would feel a sense of relief, but nothing happened. She felt the same as she was before, but the only difference was that she felt embarrassed for revealing everything. Tears were flooding her face. There was complete silence which bothered her. Since she didn't like to cause trouble and thought it was too much for her, she ran out of the room. Michael felt really bad for her being forced to say her problems. He realized she was the kind of woman that bottled up her feelings until she broke.

He wanted to go with her, but he couldn't leave. The doctors knew about his drug problem, and nor he didn't had the greatest urge to spill his feelings due to the fear of them being published to the press. As he heard the other patients' stories, it was so heartbreaking for him. He thought he had the worst case, but he could especially relate to Alicia's problem.

He was finally relieved when he left the meeting. He despised being at the rehab center, but he had to get help somehow. He prefered to get private help instead of something public like this. He was lucky that his room was in the same hall as Alicia's since he wished to talk to her. He looked at the names at each door until he saw the familiar name: Alicia Inglesias. He knocked, and walked in, and noticed she was hugging a pink square blanket that had a picture of a bear with three balloons as she stared out into the window.

"Hi." Michael called to get her attention.

Alicia looked over, and was surprised to find him in her room. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be back in your room or something?" She snapped.

"Yes, but I don't want to be here, I feel like I'm desparate to get help." Michael replied quietly with a calm voice.

"There's no way to get out, if that's why your here. This place is idiot-proof." Alicia smirked.

"I can see that..." Michael sighed as he got closer. "And that's not why I'm here."

"Then?"

"I was really touched by your story, it was really heartbreaking. I have to be honest with you." Michael took a profound breath. "Do you remember the names of the songs your boss made you work on?"

"Uhh, Keep It In, and Do You Remember, why?" Alicia answered.

"You never heard my latest album?"

She shook her head.

"My producer brought me bits and pieces of those songs, now they are called In the Closet, and Remember the Time. Those songs are in that album." Michael confessed.

"So you're saying I worked my ass off, spent most of my day working on songs that ended up being yours?" Alicia asked in an angry tone. "That's very coincidential considering I rarely pay attention to music in general."

"It caused me a lot of stress, and I have the same problem as you. I've been under serious depression for the longest time." Michael noted.

"Why were you afraid of other people's judgements about you? Believing in yourself is the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself, and if you keep thinking something bad will happen to you, it'll happen. Think of me, I've been addicted to prescription medicine for the longest time because I felt I had no other option. Everyone has an option, Michael, and you're no exception. If you don't want to be here, but still want to get help, go seek for it. Nothing's stopping you." Alicia snapped at him.

"You're right. I just want relief from this never-ending nightmare." Michael whispered as a tear rolled down his eyes.

"Just think of the future, think about a goal that you want to achieve. 'I want to be happy again.' If you just focus on something like that, you'll certainly get out of the mess. That's the only way of how I don't look at the troubles I have in now." She explained once again.

Before Michael could say anything, the door opened without a knock. It was a nurse that had a distressed look on her face. Michael turned around and got startled.

"Mr. Jackson you must stay in your room, you can't simply walk around asking other patients for a way out. Come on, let's go." The nurse said while grabbing his wrist.

"We'll see eachother again!" Michael yelled out as the nurse took him across the hall.

"I doubt it!"

____________________________________________
"I was so mean to you, but I was so angry and scared, I didn't care who I talked to." Alicia commented.

"But those words helped me overcome of what I had. Your words never left my mind after that." Michael remembered.

"But you left the following morning and I never saw you again." Alicia teased.

"But we were reunited by the help of Sony, oddly enough. Now, what did the doctors tell you?" Michael snapped back.

Alicia grew nervous. What was she supposed to tell him? 'Oh, I just figured out I'm pregnant with YOUR child but you don't remember the night we made love.' "The d-doctor just told me I was dehydrated. I haven't been drinking a lot of fluids lately since I've been working on something to present to you later." She said quickly.

Michael raised his eyebrow. "A song? Now that doesn't sound like you. I've given you time to relax and you never take it, I've given you so much, but all you do is work, work, work. I admire that about you, but sometimes, you need to rest!" Michael laughed.

"But I need to work to at least pay for last months bills, Michael. I never rest, I can't do that now." She said accidentally.

"What do you mean?" Michael asked.

"Nothing, you know. I just need to drink lots of water so I can feel better." Alicia said.

"Well you're not going to work for the next week, don't worry about the pay. I need you to rest, and rest is what you need right now." Michael ordered with a smile.

"That's really sweet, but--"

"No butts, you're not working, and that's final. I'll be visiting everyday to check on you." Michael said.

"Everyday?" Alicia grew worried.

"Everyday." Michael repeated. "I'll even bring Prince and Paris, you know they love you."

"I'd love to see them, but I don't want to waste your precious time visiting me everyday. I know you have better things to do." Alicia warned.

"Alicia, you're my closest friend, and I don't want you to feel alone, especially that you and your boyfriend are having trouble." Michael remembered.

Her eyes widened. "Don't even remind me of Messer right now."

"How long was it since you last talked to him?" Michael asked; he knew her so well.

"Not long ago really," She claimed. "I don't know. I have to work that out."

Michael smiled, and the doctor came in with his clipboard. He was surprised to see Michael here, since he hasn't seen him in a long time.

"Michael, It's a surprise to see you here, I haven't seen you since Prince got that scrape." the doctor said.

"Well they are both fine, thank God, Dr. Alexander." Michael smiled. "Just needed to check on my dear friend."

"She's perfectly fine. We'll release her tomorrow morning. We'll keep her overnight just for observation, and I need to assign some check-ups for the--"

Alicia shot Dr. Alexander a stare, telling him not to say anthing.

"For the?"

"I'll explain it when it's more calm." Alicia interrupted.

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "Alright. Well, I'll be heading off, I can't leave my children for that long. I'll see you tomorrow." Michael said as he kissed Alicia's forehead before leaving the room. "Keep my girl safe, Dr. Alexander."

Michael left the room, and the doctor smirked at her, realizing what she meant earlier.

"I know it's none of my business, but I thought you told him?" Alexander wondered. "He's the one?"

"Don't tell a soul..." Alicia confessed.

"As a doctor, I have my confidentiality oath." He promised. "But if he's the father, aren't you going to tell him?"

"I'm not sure, Doc, I'm not sure..."








Chapter 2: You'll Tell Me When the Time is Right by Clouds

The hours went into days, and the days went into weeks. Days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months for Alicia. She grew sick and tired of being at home most of the time since Michael forced her to be at home until she's fully recovered. It was kind of a relief to her since she didn't have to see Michael eight hours a day. Michael still visited her everyday like he promised, but she was happy that they were short visits, since he was a very busy man. She grew worried over the fact that she's beginning to show so early. Though Michael's visits were short, he mistook Alicia's morning sickness for the lack of nutrition she was getting, and also mistook her cravings for the same reason as well. Alicia knew that she couldn't keep a pregnancy a secret from her best friend as well as the father of the baby forever, unless she takes action about it.


It was Alicia's final day for her short vacation, but she needed to use her time wisely before seeing Michael. She needed to set the records straight with her boyfriend, Messer, for which in fact, were still dating. She loved him very dearly, but the constant fights they had made her heartbroken. She quickly changed and darted out of her small apartment. The streets of New York City were so grand and amazing, she was lucky she didn't get lost most of the time. Messer's apartment was no less than three blocks away, but since her fatique was bringing her down, it seemed like forever to reach his place.

"Hello?" Messer's incredibly stern voice called from the speaker.

"Messer, it's me, Alicia. I really need to talk to you." Alicia replied.

"You finally have time?" He answered.

"Yes, it's extremely important for you to hear this." Alicia confessed.

"Alright, come in sweetie." Messer thanked.


As she walked up the two flights of stairs, she was amazed that it's been so long since she's actually been to his apartment. She knocked on his door, but it drew open.

"Messer?" Alicia called out.

"Yeah! I'm over here by the kitchen." He shouted back.

She went to the kitchen, and found that he was cooking, since the aroma was calling her immediately. "There's something I really want to ask you."

"Sure, go ahead." He said as he flipped some chicken patties over the grill.

"I know that we had our differences, but is there any possible way that you still feel the same way no matter what I've been through in my past? I'm not the perfect woman, I don't have the best past, and I'm sure I'm not going to have a great future." She confessed.

"Where's all this coming from?" He grew worried.

"I made a mistake-- a horrible mistake that I never thought of doing..." She began as her eyes began to water.

"Alicia, what's the matter?" He walked over to her, and caressed her arms.

"You have to promise me not to get angry. " Alicia begged. "I can't keep this from you any longer..."

"What did you do?!" He asked anxiously.

"I-- I..." She stuttered.

"I'm pregnant."

Messer backed away from her, and slowly pulled his hair. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He hit the refridgerator door with his foot with all the force he had. "What?!"

"Messer, I can explain!" Alicia cried angrily.

"No..." Messer restrained himself. "I don't want a child! I'm not father-material! I thought we went over this!"

"MESSER!" She cried. "Listen to me--"

"NO! I don't WANT that kid! That's the least thing that I want! It's done. We're done!" He yelled. "GET OUT!"

"LISTEN TO ME! IF YOU LET ME EXPLAIN! YOU'RE MISUNDERSTANDING SOMETHING!" Alicia roared.

"What? We made love and then after three months of not verbally talking to eachother, you tell me that you're pregnant?! What am I misunderstanding?!" Messer explained furiously.

"Messer--!"

"Save it! Forget that there ever was you and me because now my life is ruined because of that baby! Get out! I don't want to see you again-- EVER!" Messer yelled with anger and fustration.

She ran out of his apartment, slamming his door forcefully. She hated the fact that no one ever gave her the chance to listen to her side of the story, and when it happened, only chaos occured. Life was just never cooperating for her, but she dealt with it the way she thought was right. Her boyfriend of twelve years hates her now for the fact that she's pregnant, but that was not his child. She wanted to clear things out and not back-stab him in anyway. But sometimes she realized telling the truth too soon made people greatly mistaken at a cost she couldn't afford to pay. The only two men she had in her life was Messer and Michael, and she loved both dearly. She truely loved Messer, though with the constant fights they had now and then, she didn't want to spend her life with any other man. Her life was shattering into thousands of prickly pieces of glass that could not be put together.

Since she still didn't want to go back to her drastic apartment, she remembered that her first appointment with Dr. Alexander was today. She took a glance at her watch, knowing that she only had less than twenty minutes to reach the hospital. She was excited to know the exact details of her growing child since her doctor didn't give her details about her pregnancy. She walked into the front lobby, and asked for the location of her appointment. She followed the directions and reached the place on the third floor. As she waited in her room, she rubbed her tiny belly.

"I'd do anything to keep you safe and protected, but I'm not sure how your daddy will handle it, little one." She whispered.

"Hello?" A young doctor came into the room. "I'm Dr. Raymond, and I'll be your gynecologist. Let's get you out of these clothes and get you into a gown so we can properly check."

"Alright." Alicia agreed, as if she had your choice.


He left to give her the privacy she needed as a nurse came in to give her the gown. While she changed she placed her clothes in a giant plastic bag. The gown made her feel free; the tightness of her clothes against her skin was sometimes uncomfortable, and she was glad that she was wearing something loose.

"Alright, we'll have an ultrasound to see how the fetus is progressing, get some blood samples, and from then, we'll see what we need to take care of." Dr. Raymond informed her as he flipped through his clipboard. "When was the last time you had alcohol consumption?"

"Oh, uh," Alicia stalled as she flashed back to the night Michael and her made love. She hasn't thought of it since then. "I guess you can say the night of the making."

He chuckled. "Alright, here it says you don't smoke, and you've been craving fruits. Your digestive system is fine, so you're healthy. But we'll run those tests just to be sure."

"I have a question..." Alicia commented lowly.

"Sure, go for it."

"When I fill out the birth certificate, is required to put the name of the father?" She asked, barely saying the words out.

"Well, if that child wants to know who it's father is, yes; there must be a name down." He replied.

"Ahh.." She simply said, thinking she has no other choice but to tell him.

Soon the nurse came in with the equipment needed to do the ultrasound. They placed the gel onto the stick, and slowly moved it around her lower abdomen. The picture was vivid and unclear, but Alicia cried as she saw the fetus. It was her child, and Michael's; a part of Michael was growing inside of her. She would have to wait a day inorder to get her pictures, but once she did, she needed to hide them before she was thinking about telling Michael. A part of her was telling her to tell him as soon as she could, but the other half told her to keep it a secret from him since she was afraid that Michael would not be able to focus on his career. That picture of the baby that was growing just hit her like a pile of heavy bricks. Now that seeing for herself that she was actually pregnant, she knew it was not a dream anymore. It was a proven fact, and the mistake that she did needed to be fixed.

After her blood tests were done, she changed and was given a nutritional guide for pregnant women by Dr. Raymond. She quickly headed to her apartment, since she was really eager to tell Michael the truth for once. She needed to get it out of her head, and she needed to learn how to overcome her fear of rejection. Once she got settled, she gave a quick clean up before checking her cell phone. She noticed it had five missed calls from Michael himself, wondering why he would call so often, since he only did so during an emergency. She quickly dialed the number and waited for a reply.

"Hello?" Michael's soft voice appeared on the other end.

"Michael, I got your missed calls. I'm sorry, I couldn't call you, I was out." Alicia confessed.

"Out? I told you I didn't want you to go out when you're still sick." Michael said sternly, but with a hint of laughter.

"Don't be riddiculous, Michael. I just fainted, I'm fine." Alicia laughed. "It's not like I have the flu."

Michael stood silent, knowing she was right. "What about the nausea? And the throwing up?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about it," Alicia said nervously. "What's the giant emergency?"

"OH! Um, I can't really say it out, but I'll be there in less than ten minutes." Michael confirmed.

"Where are you?"

"I'm heading back from a business meeting for those concerts next month." Michael informed her.

"Oh, Is it bad?" She worried.

"I'll tell you when I get there." Michael teased, showing no signs of clues from his tone.

"Alright." Alicia pouted.

"Don't give me that grunt, Alicia." He laughed. "I'm less than to blocks away, so don't worry."

"Alright." She pouted one last time.

"I have to tell you something important as well..." She whispered.


She sat lazily on a kitchen chair just tapping her fingers as she waited for Michael. She didn't like the fact when Michael wouldn't tell her the reason for his actions until he says it personally. The truth would finally come out, she would finally tell him something that he deserves to know. Though it would take a lot of explaining, she wouldn't know she or he would handle the aftermath. As the time progressed from her thinking, she didn't notice Michael walked in.

"Alicia, are you alright?" Michael asked as he walked over to her; she could smell the strong scent of his mystifying cologne.

"I'm fine." She said. "Just tired. Now would you tell me?"

"No, you tell me what you need to say."

"No, you go; that's why you came here, isn't it?"

"Well, I'd rather hear yours."

"Mines can wait a while."

"I'm heading back to California tomorow." Michael said bluntly.

"What?!" Alicia shrieked in disbelief.

"I have to head back for the concerts; I will only be gone for two weeks." Michael explained.

"Two weeks?"

"Two weeks." Michael repeated. "I'm sorry, It'll go by quickly, I promise."

"But, but--" Alicia sighed trying not to show her sorrow. "Oh, Alright. I can deal two weeks myself."

"Don't worry." Michael reassured as he kissed her forehead. "And I need to do the final cut for the album."

"FINAL CUT!? WHERE'S THE TIME GONE?!" Alicia freaked out. "I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY SONG YET."

"Relax, Alicia, let me see what you have then, if you have the time." Michael insisted.

"Ugh, but don't hate me for what I have." She worried as she walked to her small room that consisted of her music studio.

"I won't." Michael giggled, but kept his promise seriously.


Alicia touched a few buttons, then a soft melancoly began to play with a steady and relaxing beat. Michael liked the rhythm, though he hasn't even heard the lyrics yet. Michael saw it in Alicia's eyes that she was nervous. He knew she's been working on that song since she told him a couple months prior. She was a perfectionist like him when it came to composing music, though she took her time with it.



'See I just can’t find the right thing to say
I tried but all my pain gets in the way
Tell me what I have to do so you’ll stay
Should I get down on my knees and pray

And how can I stop losing you
How can I begin to say
When there’s nothing left to do but walk away

I close my eyes
Just to try and see you smile one more time
But it’s been so long now all I do is cry
Can’t we find some love to take this away
‘Cause the pain gets stronger every day'


'How can I begin again...
...How am I to understand...
When there’s nothing left to do but walk away....'  Michael sang as well. "It's a beautiful song! I love it!"

"You really think so?" Alicia asked; her eyes were filled with joy.

"Yes, absolutely, I can add some more here and there, since it's so inspirational. Are you extremely positive that you don't want to get credited?" Michael wondered.

She nodded assertively as she handed him the song. "I'm positive. I don't need everyone wanting a piece of me, and you truely deserve it, Michael."

"Since you won't let me credit you, then I guess I'll be working on this while I'm over there. Once I come back, I'll have the finished product for you." Michael promised.

"Take your time, Michael. I just make the songs." She laughed.

"That's true, but you make them from your heart." He said wisely as his head jerked up. "Alicia, what were you going to tell me?"

"What?"

"You said you had to say something to me." Michael reminded.

"I'll tell you when you come back." Alicia teased, knowing that she couldn't tell him now that he would be leaving for something that important.

"Why not tell me now?" He suggested.

"Trust me, you'll get distracted while you're there." She said.


"Alright, You have to tell me as soon as I step foot to New York," Michael laughed as he looked at his watch. "Damnit, I have to get going. Prince and Paris need to go to bed early for tomorrow."

She sighed softly. "Fine, what time are you leaving?"

"Noon," He replied as he got up from his chair, holding Alicia's piece firmly. "I'll stop by tomorrow."

"No," Alicia refused as they walked to the front door. "I don't want to waste your time, and you'll be very busy tomorrow. Why wait tomorrow if we can say our good-byes now?"

"That's a better idea." Michael chuckled as he extended his arms out to hug her.
The warmth of their hug made Michael tingle. Alicia's hormones were driving her crazy, and she couldn't help but cry. She tried her best not to make any noise, for she didn't want Michael to notice. Michael grasped her soft brown hair then parted the hug. He noticed she was crying and he felt terrible.

"Alicia, why are you crying?" Michael worried as he wiped the tears from her cheek.

"Nothing," She sniffed. "I'm just on those days if you catch my drift."

Michael's eyebrow rose, but soon realized what she meant. "Now, that's no excuse when you cry out of the blue. There's something bugging you and you won't tell me."

"You're right," She confessed. "It's too hard to explain."

"Well, I know you will tell me when the time is right, and I respect that. I don't want to force something out of you, Ali." Michael explained. "That's not what a friend does."

She didn't know how to react other than cry some more. She was a complete mess, but she was dying to tell Michael. But since he was so devoted to his music when he was creating an album, she knew not to distract him in any way.

"I'm just really glad I have a friend that understands everything I'm going through. I don't know what I'd be without you." Alicia cried as she hugged Michael one last time. "You're the only good thing that's happened to me in this living hell."

He smiled. "Don't say that. Thank God for the good things that happened to you in your life. You may think you're life was hell, but there's always something worth waiting for. God put you on this Earth for a good reason, but you still have to wait for His message."

"Thank you for understanding." She smiled as she wiped her tears away. "Go home, your children need you."

"I don't want to leave while you're like this." Michael warned.

"Don't worry about me, just go." Alicia insisted.

"Alright," He hesitated as he kissed her cheek gently. "I'll see you soon."

Now she would have to wait even longer.

















End Notes:

HONEST FEEDBACK! ♥ BTW, I only ment to italisize the song part, but I don't know how to fix that. sorry.

Chapter 3: Family is Greater than Business by Clouds


The following morning was extremely hectic for Alicia. Now that Michael wouldn't be around for two whole weeks, it gave her plenty of time to relax and not have to worry about showing her growing stomach around him. Every other day she went to the clinic for constant check-ups, and went to several different places to seek help with her pregnancy. Messer stopped talking to her after that day, which she didn't find surprising that he didn't call at all. Each night she would get emotional and cry constantly for not realizing what she has done. She wanted to tell Michael with all her heart, but she was afraid of not having the courage to say it. Each passing moment when she was alone she couldn't help but to look through the dusty files of memories in her mind.

The scene changed into a beautiful church. Giant oak columns faced parallel to either side of the church. Stained glass windows brought in light from the sun outside, and reflected a colorful pattern on the floor. Rows and rows of dark-colored benches filled nearly the entire space. On the far end, a giant dome faced above the table of Jesus, where completely in a semi-circle, long pearl-colored candles were lit. A middle-aged priest sat a few rows from the front of the church, where he was comforting a little girl with brown ponytails, and a sobbing face.

"Father Valentino," Alicia cried. "Why can't I know where my mom is?"

"Darling, you're at the home of God," He replied sincerely to the little girl. "You must be patient."

"But, how?" She whined. "Where's my mommy?"

He sighed sadly. He couldn't bare to look at the little girl with chocolate brown eyes. "You're very young to understand. I will tell you when you will be able to."

"But why can't I know? How much longer will I stay here?"

A tiny tear rolled down from his soft yet vibrant cheek. "You'll be staying here for a while. The nuns will settle you in with the rest of the orphans."


"You're family is here with us. You must be calm, you know you're completely comfortable here." Father Valentino promised. "Come, I want to show you something."

Alicia grabbed the priest's hand firmly as she placidly walked to catch up with the giant steps of the father. They walked to the side of the church, which had a door that led to the basement, and the school of the parochial. She followed him through couple of corridors until he reached into his pocket and grabbed a silver old-fashioned key, which she assumed opened the door. As they opened it, it seemed like an office; lots of shelves covered with numbered boxes filled up most of the space. He took out a big cardboard box that sat on his chair. He pulled out a yellow square blanket who's picture was of a momma bear and a baby bear; the baby bear was holding three different colored balloons. He handed it to her, though her face grew with confusion.

"What's this?" She asked.

"It's your blanket that you came in with when you were a baby. Your mother told me to wait until you turned seven to hand it to you." He answered honestly.

"Why is this so special?"

"This blanket meant a lot to your mother, and she begged me to keep it from you until you were old enough to take care of it yourself. She worked very hard for it, and she told me that she was exited for the day for this to be handed to you, but the course of life changed, and this was the only thing you were wearing when they left you here. At some point in time, she thought she would handle being a mother, but sadly came the day that she couldn't no longer. She truely loved you, it was hard for her to do it. She thought you were better off here, and you would be raised properly." The priest explained thoroughly.

"So there's a possibility of my mother being alive?" Alicia hoped, staring at the priest whom she called her own personal father, and loved dearly.

"I'm not sure to be honest, I haven't heard from her in years." The priest replied.

Her head lowered, she felt like losing hope. "I will always treasure this blanket forever and ever and ever, so I can make my mommy proud. When I'm older, and have a baby of my own, that'll be the first thing he would wear! I promise for my mama!" Alicia said with such enthusiasm. "I'll bring him here so he can get baptized! Its such a beautiful place here, I wouldn't want to do anything else!"

"Hold yourself, Alicia." He chuckled at her imagination. "The most important thing you need to worry about right now is being a kid. Enjoy your care-free life as much as you can until you have to take responsibility for your actions."

She whimpered. "I know I know, but I'm still going to do that no matter what."



Alicia shifted her torso under the yellow square blanket. It made her smile thinking back on how she received it, but it was good for her to remember her younger times. The times where Father Valentino was right on; she had to enjoy the life of not worrying about what will happen if you do this or say that because the childhood of one's life was the only time where you knew what you wanted. Taking responsibility for her own actions is something she's still has to learn. Once she left the orphanage at eighteen, she wanted to explore the world, and extend her unimaginable talents to people who would be interested in it. Though everything she wanted and worked for always came for her at a terrible price.


___________________________________________________________


"No, that's not the sound I'm looking for!" Michael said angrily as he pulled the headphones out of his ear. "The guitar must be a little more relaxing, as if you're bathing in the sun, and you need some tranquility!"

"I'm sorry Mike," Teddy apologized.

"Let's try it again, I want to get this song completed by the time I get back, and I only have a week left!" Michael complained, though he tried his best to not loose his anger.

"Son, just have a little more power over your playing, and you'll do fine," Michael directed over the intercom.

Teddy replayed the music for the song, Don't Walk Away, in which a tranquil melody began. Michael placed his headphones back to his ears, while Teddy pulled and twisted a couple buttons. A young man with a guitar was inside the recording area, since he was to conduct the guitar section acoustically and electrically. He felt bad that his anger was making the young man nervous, but he wanted to complete the song as soon as possible. He began playing softly on the acoustic guitar, which Michael was liking so far. He wanted to get the sound perfect before he placed his vocals in. After a couple hours of working on that particular song, he moved to working other songs. He came up with a few songs that needed to be passed or cut into the final list.

The next few days Michael finally perfected Alicia's song, and decided the first eight songs that were officially were going to be on his new album. Unbreakable, You Rock My World, Butterflies, Threatened, Don't Walk Away, Whatever Happens, Cry, and The Lost Children were the first to be placed. He had to decide eight more by his birthday, which was frustrating him more and more. He hated the fact that Sony wouldn't give him more time to perfect his songs properly, and the album would be released later in September. He had so much to complete in a small amount of time, he had never felt so pressured. Through the little time he had left, he was determined to make this album the best.

Once his recording was done, he had another agonizing meeting to attend to for his 30th Anniversary set of concerts. Los Angeles was beautiful, everywhere was beautiful, but sometimes he wishes he were at Neverland. There was so much to do in a small amount of time, his insomnia was at a bad state, he had to begin rehearsals for his concerts the following day, and he was curious to why was Alicia acting so odd.

He called her usually every night when he had the chance, and sometimes her perky and spunky personality would always make him smile and laugh, but she seemed stressed out. He worried about her greatly, considering that she was the one who understood him the most out of anyone else when it came to stress. Her behavior was becoming a mystery that Michael didn't have the time to solve. He couldn't get side-tracked, his mind must be 110% inclined to his work, and he had little opportunity to waste precious time.


Once the meeting was over, Michael was in his bedroom suite, tapping his nervous fingers, waiting for her call. It was the only voice he loves to hear, the only voice that relaxes him, the only voice that keeps him from insanity, and the only voice that was his medicine when he was frustrated. He only had a few minutes to talk to her if she calls due to the fact that he had so many meetings to attend to. His foot began to tap, and his fingers traced his cell phone, anxious to get her call. Finally the phone rang and he answered immediately.

"Michael?" The soft voice answered.

"Hey, Alicia," Michael said quickly. "Um, how are you?"

"The question is, how are you, nutball? You seem anxious." She laughed nervously.

"I'm just over my head, Alicia. The board members are driving me insane with the new album, my lawyers are ranting over the concerts, I'm starting rehearsals, and I need to chose 8 more songs so I'd complete the album." Michael explained quickly. "I barely even have time to breathe."

There was a short pause. "Seems you have a lot on your shoulders, I suppose?"

Michael sighed profoundly. "Yes, intensely."

"So, you can't have anything in your way?" Alicia asked nervously.

"Yes, I don't want anything that can come in my way. I need to be focused, determined, and to the point. You're the only one that I need right now. My children, and you, my friend." Michael whispered.

Michael grew scared when he heard her blow her nose constantly. "Alicia, are you...are you c-crying?"

"What? No, of course not, why would you think that? I'm fine." Alicia replied, trying to hide it.

"Yeah, they sure aren't allergies because there's barely any pollen in New York." Michael smirked.

Alicia held herself before blowing her nose once more. "I am crying, okay? Happy?!" Alicia snapped. "Just forget about it."

"I'm sorry, what's the matter?" Michael's voice softened.

"Just forget it, Michael! I don't want to bug you with my problems, your work is more important than me." Alicia cried. "I just need to--"

"Michael, we have to leave now." Carlos informed him.

"I'll be right there," Michael replied.

"I have to go, Alicia, I'll talk to you soon." Michael said quickly.

"MICHAEL WAI--"

Michael's grew a fist in his hand, angry that he couldn't have a decent conversation when he had the chance. He snatched his blazer and umbrella and dashed out of his suite. Carlos noticed he was mad, and that would end up with a dilemma. Michael and his entourage left the hotel to meet with lawyers to make the concert dates official.

--------------------------------------------


Alicia continued to cry with her cell phone in her hand. Everytime she tries to tell him the truth, it always got interrupted. Whats the point on telling him the truth if he'll go to her side, only for the sake of the child? She knew Michael too well when it came to these sort of conditions, and she wouldn't jeopardize her relationship with him. She didn't love him, and he didn't love her in that way. They were only two friends that were given the ultimate test of life.

She knew Michael a little too well to predict what he'd do. His sense of nature was riveting and mysterious, no one knew what exactly he felt about a certain situation, but it was obvious at the same time. Michael's way of being could be frightening for an outsider; if you made a small mistake, you were out of his life immediately. He didn't want to deal with amateurs, and surely enough, it was hard for him to trust people. He's been betrayed all his life, which gave him a reason to simply delete the people he doesn't want in his life.

That's what feared Alicia; she must think logically on the type of situation she has placed herself into. What if she does tell Michael? What will he say? He wouldn't probably believe her since he had no memory of the intimacy that happened between them. The thought struck her. What if Michael thought she was doing it for the money? She's always been in a shortage of money, and Michael had no doubt of considering that. But they are friends, right? Why would Michael think of such an obsurd idea if they knew each other so well? Once that happens, he would take her out of his life in as fast as a click of a button. She knew she can't raise her baby without making a single mistake that could probably harm the baby's future. What if he does kick her out? Will she just go on raising the child of her best friend in which Michael himself has no knowledge of?

She needed to become brave and witted for her actions. She needed to learn not to be afraid of the bad, and deal with the problems that are handed to her. No matter how Michael would treat her, she absolutely knew that Michael wouldn't keep his own child out of his life. She's willing to risk her only friendship in return for the baby to have a stable home, and a father to love; which is something Alicia never had since she never knew her parents. The only father-figure she knew was Father Valentino, the sweetest, most caring person she's ever met. Every chance Alicia seeked, she'll take in order to tell the truth.

Michael's an extremely stubborn person when it comes to people telling him whats right. He wants to hear what he wants to hear, no matter if it's good or bad. It was a conflict for Alicia, but she had to manage to work her way around it. She's determined to do the right thing for once in her life.


A couple days went by, and Alicia went to the doctor's once again. Michael would be arriving the following day, though she was nervous about telling him. It had become a regular routine for her to visit the doctor, since she had no clue on what to do. She began eating healthier, along with a craving or two here or there. She also began a new excersise routine specially designed for pregnant women, so she would be fit throughout the whole experience. Her hormones were raging, luckily she was alone and had no one to talk to all day.

"Alright, Alicia," Dr. Raymond walked in with a grin on his face. "I'm happy to inform you that everything is going swell."

Alicia sighed with relief. "Thank God. How along am I?"

"Hmm," He hummed while flipping through a couple sheets in her medical file. "Well, today's the twenty-seventh, you're exactly twelve weeks and five days along. You conceived about two days after the incident."

"Twelve weeks, huh?" Alicia asked herself. "When will it be due?"

"I'd say around February 20th to the 23rd if it's carried full-term, which you shouldn't be worried about since everything's going smoothly." Dr. Raymond added. "I should consider consulting the father about this."

"I'm trying to tell him, Dr." Alicia sighed as she placed her hands over her small belly. "He's just too busy with everything at the moment, he barely has time to even talk to me."

"Well, I'd say tell him as soon as possible. I know Michael's a busy man, but you have to explain it to him, it'll be of shock." He replied, walking over to check Alicia's heartbeat.

"You don't understand, he's not the kind of man that just accepts everything handed to him. He wouldn't believe me if I told him. Our relationship is just mutual, nothing more, nothing less. Sure he'd be happy that he's a father, but in order for him to become one, he wants a woman that he loves to give him that wish. I am none of that." Alicia explained.

"He does love you as a friend, isn't that so?" Dr. Raymond smirked. "His ex-wife, Miss Debbie Rowe was just his friend doing him a favor. Why is it different with you?"

"Sure we're great friends, but only fate brought us together again. We only reunited once again for this album, and before that, there was only one contact that I had with him. We just got close until now." Alicia replied.

"It's confusing to understand, I know that, but you must follow what your heart tells you, not your mind. Are you determined to keep something this big from him and have his friendship, or lose that friendship in order to keep that baby in the right hands? You can't hide something that's his own blood away from him. I'm a father of three children, and I'll tell you this. There's a connection mothers and fathers have between them and their child. I know Michael wouldn't be dim enough to not catch it, but it'll be something he wouldn't understand until he knows exactly what's going on. In my opinion, tell him when you have the chance. Family is greater than business." Dr. Raymond said with enthusiasm.

"You're right, I'd rather lose the friendship with him than keep his own child away from him..." Alicia said when her eyes became watery.

"I know you'll do the right thing, Alicia. Patience is always a virtue. As long as you tell him sooner or later, it is." He added.

Alicia smiled, knowing everything he said was right. She rather be hated for telling the truth, than cherished and loved for lying. It lifted up her spirit, and was excited to tell Michael when he returned.

After the hospital visit, she didn't notice Dr. Raymond saying the date. She completely lost track of time, and Michael's birthday was only two days away. Michael didn't like to be given anything on his birthday, but she always managed to get him something, even if it was small. It was meaningful, but she had no idea what to give him. Wasn't a baby a good-enough birthday present? Now that she was out in the shopping streets of New York, she needed to get loose clothing so she could hide it as much as possible before telling Michael.

After a couple hours of shopping, she came home with a few bags of clothing that fitted her best. Considering if she wore what she bought only once, it would last her around two or three months, which was more than enough time to tell Michael. She also bought a bracelet for him which was made by a bracelet-maker. It said, Love comes with sacrifice, and sacrifice is shown worthy in the end. Michael was all about love, and she knew he would certainly love it.

The following morning, Alicia woke up extra early due to the morning sickness. She lost her appetite soon afterwards, but was slowly regained with the constant craving of grapes. It was past noon, and Michael's arrival would come at any time. The sonograms from the hospital visits that were plastered on her refridgerator were snatched off, and were hid inside an italian cookbook. She paced back and forth to fill in time, wondering if Michael would even stop by.

She took a nice long and warm shower, and wore a white puffy shirt with black capris since the heat from the glimmering sun was taunting her. She combed her soft brown hair until it became dry and wavy. She heard her phone beeping, considering it was a text from Michael, though it took him a couple dinosaur eras to send one.

'I'm almost bck in NY, I'll stop by quickly before going 2 rehearsal'

She sighed, and forgot that his first of two concerts were in less than two weeks, and her time with Michael would be limited. It was an open-shot opportunity, but she feared of being selfish. She really didn't want Michael to be distracted. She could relate to him since both of them are pure perfectionists, Michael would be frustrated if his shows weren't the way he wanted them.

A soft knock pounded her mahagony door, which instantly shot Alicia a jolt of nerve down her spine. She got up and answered the door, which was Michael. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes gleamed at her with relief. Without a word, they instantly hugged eachother. His strong scent of his intoxicating cologne filled her nostrils with passion and determination. He stroked her beautiful brown hair, completely lost in the moment. He kissed her cheek, glad to see her again.

"You're back," Alicia said, speechless, while fighting with her mind whether to open her mouth any further.

"Not surprised to see me, Ali?" Michael asked. "I can't stay long, I could hear Carlos's annoying honks from up here. I kind of told him to honk when I take too long."

"No, no, I am happy to see you," Alicia smiled. "How'd it go in LA?"

"Frustrating. I finally completed your song. I spent most of my spare time finishing and perfecting it." Michael said, handing her a copy of the song in a CD. "I have rehearsals each day until the first show on the seventh."

Honk Honk! "That's great, but I need to tell you something,"

"Is it important?" Michael said anxiously. "I need to go."

Honk Honk Honk! "Well yeah, I just need to get it off my chest."

"Well what is it?" Michael asked.

HONK HONK HONK!!!! "I uh-- um, I'm, I just need to--"

"How about we save this for later? I don't want to be late, and I want to do this rehearsals, Is that okay with you?" Michael suggested naively.

"Um," Alicia paused. "Sure, why not..."

HONK HOOOOOOOOOOONK! "I got to go, I'm seriously getting a kick out of those horns."

Michael kissed her forehead once again, and darted out of her apartment, only leaving Alicia frustrated and angry. It was only the second time she tried, surely there'd be more opportunities later to come.

Michael himself is changing with every new difficult task, and tiring event, and that would lead to serious problems for Alicia. Now that the Pressured Michael was kicking in, she had to be cautious around his temper or else...




End Notes:

Chapter Question: What do you think is right, Alicia telling the truth to Michael about their intimate encounter and the baby, though it'll distract Michael with his concerts, and the possible thought of not believing her, and ignoring her OR not telling him anytime soon for the sake of his determination for the new album AND the fear of rejection?

Chapter 4: Happy Damn Birthday by Clouds

The pyrotechnics spazzed electric color over the stadium with such force and brightness, my own balance nearly tumbled. The stage was my only true love that never left me, and was always by my side for over thirty years. It was large and grand, giving me space to show off my talent gracefully. Performing again since the HIStory tour was an extraordinary passion for me. Though I hate touring due to the constant stress, time changes, lack of sleep, and over bearing rehearsals, it's all worth it in the end. The screaming and yelling of the fans gave me the signal that they were pleased, and that's all I'm determined to focus on. But performing with my brothers is a different story. You'll be excited, but the thrill of it soon dies down.

"Can we please get those spotlights right here?" I asked tiredly as I scratched pointed to the place I wanted it to be. "It's irritating me that it's not bright enough, and in not in the right position for 'Shake Your Body.' The pyrotechnics should be 10 times greater!"
"Michael, they are fine as they are, we don't need to over work it." Jackie suggested.

The joy and frustration of having your brothers disagree with you is untolerable.

"Well our performance should exceed perfection. After all, all these people are paying a handful of money to see us. Let it be worth the money." I snapped. "I actually care about them."

"Mike, don't get so defensive. We'll work on the lighting later." Tito exclaimed.

I sighed. "We have less than two damn weeks to perfect this! Every nook and cranny has to be in their perfect position, or else I won't be content! You know how I am, Tito." I snapped once again. Jee, I love them and all, but they get tired too easily.

"Guys," Jermaine interrupted. "Let's take a break and let Michael work on his thang."

All my brothers shrugged, agreeing with him. I finally had the stage to myself tonight. It was only me and her, our minds were set to eachother. I walked over and snatched the blue shirt and quickly placed it on as I cued the music to begin. The slow temptation of the melody captivated my soul and my riveting moves swept the stage with precision.

'Hey pretty baby with the high heels on,
You give me fever like I've never ever known...'

There was a short silence, but it was broken quickly with the tiger's roaring growl. I simply stood there, speechless. I didn't move a muscle and I didn't cue the music. The equation certainly is not adding up. It hasn't even been five seconds and they start it. Why is it this song that always gets so distressing?

"No no no no no no," I disagreed. "You have to wait for my cue, you guys. I have to bathe in my own time to get myself into place."

"Right-- Michael, I thought that guesture was the signal." My good ol' friend Kenny Ortega apologized. "I'm sorry Michael, we'll watch for the cue."

I nodded. "Exactly. One simple hand movement doesn't mean anything. There's this moment that you have to wait for. When I'm standing still, you have to let the people wonder why your so stiff, before surprising them with BAM! When you feel that moment rising, that's when you cue the song."

"Alright, we'll certainly look for that." Kenny promised.

My head began to throb with pain. Great, a headache. What else you have for me?! All I want is to go home with my children, and not have to worry about singing or dancing for once in my life, but no, I have to be on the other side of the country rehearsing for concerts that the idea came from me. My patience has grown smaller than a pea, and shrinking tinier by every passing day due to the unimaginable stress.
After a couple songs, I decided to cut rehearsal early. I really wanted to get back and relax, or at least restore the fuction of my ol' muscles. I was surprised that my legs still had the strength to even walk around the stage. My temper, for some strange reason reached it's boiling point and for who shall decide to say a word to me, I'd strangle them. I wasn't up for any chit-chatting or even speaking to my driver if I wanted to go home yet.

"Michael." A soft faint voice called as I grabbed my towel to retrieve the hot sweat off my face.

"What." I snapped, annoyed.

"Um, I need to tell you something and I'm not leaving until you listen." She said once again.

"Well I guess you'll be staying here for a while because I'm not in the mood for anything, especially I don't have time for chit-chatting." I snapped as I grasped onto my towel.

"Michael...please," She begged.

"I can't talk right now nor do I want to talk. See me tomorrow." I pleaded, walking away from the woman that was trying to speak to me.

Suddenly I heard something drop onto the floor hard as if bricks were falling from the ceiling. I turned around and I felt the sweat from my hair slap in my face. I wiped it off of my eyelid and noticed there was a red box with a bow on the floor. As I darted my eyes towards the woman who threw it, the low lighting made it difficult to see who it was. I stepped closer into a certain spotlight and my towel instantly dropped.

"And I wasted all this time to get here for nothing." A weeping Alicia cried before she stormed out of view. "It's not worth telling you anything now. Happy damn birthday, Michael."

"No, Alicia-- wait!" I yelled.

I stood there breathless, trying to catch up to her. I didn't even notice her due to my unusual anger and low-tempered attitude. The damn rehearsals were draining me out of every source of energy that I had, making me unable to be social. I grasped the small red velvet box, and opened it. It was a beautiful handmade bracelet that the threads were arranged in a special way that created words. Love comes with sacrifice, and sacrifice is shown worthy in the end. It was so unique, there wasn't a possible way to repay Alicia for all that she's done for me in the past two years that we were reunited.

"Michael, I've hired a really talented songwriter and she'll be a part of the team for tis album," Teddy announced.

I raised my eyebrows, "A songwriter?"

He nodded. "Yes sir, she has a genuine touch with words, though her past was certainly unlucky."

"Well no matter what happened then makes no difference now. Where is she?" I chuckled, curious to know who this woman was.

"I don't know, she hasn't called yet, but I'm sure she'll come soon." Teddy hoped.

We played with beats, recorded a tiny bit, but mostly talked about the album cover. I worked with a young talented french photographer not too long ago, and I wanted to use one of his pictures for it, but of course, I had to get the approval of Sony. Which I did do so, all I had to do was wait and hoped for it. As we waited for this woman to arrive, I saw the gleam in Teddy's eyes, and that wasn't a good sign. He liked for people who worked for him to be prompt so we'd get the job done quicker, but time was ticking on the first day. As I sipped a bit of my coffee, the door slammed open, and a beautiful woman with dark brown ruby hair and glossy brown eyes walked in. Her face gleamed in the light, and it looked so familiar. But where was this face from? I'd seen hundreds of thousand faces and it really ticks me off that I can't remember any of them.

"I'm so sorry Teddy, I had a little problem at ho--" She froze. Her eyes set on me, completely flabbergasted.

"Michael? Michael Jackson? Teddy, this is the man you wouldn't tell me about!?" The woman exclaimed.

"I thought you'd freak."

"Certainly not. But I assume he forgot all about me, which I'm not surprised." She snapped as she placed her bag on the couch.

I smirked. "By all means miss, your face is truely remarkable and rememberable. I'm sorry, but I can't put my finger on it, wait a second--."

"Michael, you and her have met before?" Teddy interrupted, unaware of our previous encounter, which I'm trying to recall.

"Very much so, Teddy. It was a brief meet six years ago when I was in--" She paused again. "It doesn't matter, I'm sure he forgot. It was only once and I never spoke of him or talked to him since that one day."

Oh crap, It's starting to come to me! I know where this face was! If it wasn't for her words, I would be in a terrible state by now! "My apologies, Miss Inglesias, my memory is rejoicing me once again. I thank you a thousand times for your kind words, and your vague attitude towards me. It really made me feel like a normal man."

She half smiled. "Just because you're some pop star, doesn't mean I have to treat you like a damn king."

"Alicia!" Teddy hissed.

"No, no, Teddy. It's fine. After all, the way she treated me then certainly made me rethink about some things over the years." I smiled joyfully.

"Well, I'm sure we're not going to get anything accomplished here tonight, Michael, so I'll leave you two to catch up on anything that needs catching up. Hit me up if you need anything." Teddy offered.

"Thank you, Teddy." I thanked as I saw him retrieve his jacket before leaving.

"Alicia, what a joy it is to see you again." I said as I sat down. "Are you hungry or thirsty?"

She shook her head. "What are the odds of seeing you again, and actually remembering me?"

"You're challenging my photographic memory, I believe," I smirked. "How can I forget the person who's words made me strive foward?"

"I know the things I said didn't affect you as strongly as you think, Michael. It's just the basic fact that you didn't notice yourself." She corrected.

"But they did. It was constantly repeated in my head for months on end. I thought and rethought about what they ment, and I'm still not certain about the true meaning of happiness is." I explained.

She chuckled. "Just so you know, this is mere coincidence to meet again because I soon went back to my usual miserable life after rehab. Some people actually had to be there for the full treatment."

"You think so little of me, don't you?" I chuckled. "Surprising."

"I don't underestimate you, I honestly respect you in everything that you are, but people just tick me off in general, so don't pry and think you're special because you're not." She corrected as she snatched a grape from the fruit basket.

"Hey, at least you treat me as if I was a normal guy which I like." I confessed. "Honestly, I would like to know you better."

"Why?" She widened her eyes, and noticed she began growing nervous.

"I'd like to be friends with you, you know? Have a friend that doesn't treat me as if I could save the world from human destruction, and have a friend that insults you just for the sakeness of just pissing you off. You certainly have qualities that I haven't seen on a person in a very long time. And coming from me who's been betrayed and backstabbed several times, that means something." I explained honestly.

"I think I would actually believe you, Michael." She said sincerely. "But you wouldn't want to be friends with me."

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"I only bring misery to people I meet. I'm not the type of woman to have friends because my life is hell, and certainly you wouldn't want to deal with any of that. I'm just trouble that will never be fixed." She said hoarsely, bringing her head down.

"Alicia, I'm sure I won't treat you as if you were scum because I'm not the kind of guy who's a complete jerk. I'm committed into keeping my promises, and I promise you to be your friend. But you have to confide and trust me." I explained honestly as I sat next to her.

"Only if you do the same."

"I promise," I vowed.

* * *

"These are your children?" Alicia asked, as she bent over to look inside the crib.

"Yes," I chuckled.

"Can I please hold her?" She begged as she stared into Paris's eyes.

I nodded. I reached over and gently grabbed Paris by her back, and firmly held her tiny head before passing her to Alicia. Once she steadily grabbed her, Alicia wouldn't stop staring at her. Paris was so calm in her arms, probably even much calmer than she was with me. Her bright blue eyes bounced back at Alicia, and a big smile rose on both their faces. Prince was heavily asleep, so I wasn't worried.

"Oh, She's just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I wish I had some children of my own..." She confessed.

"You will some day. You'll be one heck of a mother, and I'm sure the father would love it." I complimented.

"I don't think Messer wants any kids anytime soon, and in the state I am now, I can't keep the baby safe. You're blessed, Michael. You have two beautiful children that will love you and won't stop telling you that the moment they figure out how to speak." Alicia complimented as she kissed Paris's forehead.

"Thank you," I said, which it was all I could say.

"You're such an angel, you know that? Yes you are, yes you are! You're the most precious baby thing! Don't tell your brother, he'll have a kick at me if he figures out I said that." Alicia spoke to Paris.

I chuckled. "That's what she said to me when she saw my pictures, Paris, guess I'm dead beat by my own kid," I responded.

"Oh, I just want to take her home, and pamper her like she deserves, I can't get enough of babies." Alicia commented.

"You can visit her all you want. And Prince of course."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. I can't trust anyone else more than you to even take care of my kids if I let them," I laughed as I heard some crying, noticing it was Prince.

I grabbed him, and cradled him, hoping he would stop. I began humming a soft tune, and his crying soon died out. I sniffed his rear, and my reflexes immediately jumped.

"Guess someone needs a diaper change," I commented as I moved him over to the baby counter.

"See, you're brother is such a poopbutt," Alicia said to Paris, which I heard a bit of giggling.

I laughed. "Don't make me get this diaper near you." I threatened as I placed a new diaper on Prince.

"Oooh, I'm so scared! I'm used to the stench, but I get old pops here isn't." Alicia teased.

"The day you have your own child, get ready for the teasing." I threatened. "That's a promise."

"You'll be keeping that threat for a long time,"

"I won't forget."


How can I be so stupid? I mean, I know Alicia by now, she will refuse to talk to me; maybe days or even weeks without speaking to me. That's what I like about her. She doesn't give in to the bad, and always tries to keep a smile on her face, no matter how terrible she felt.

I had the bracelet on, never wanting to take it off. She remembered my birthday, and I didn't even remember my own. How sad is that? I've been working my ass off this past summer, I began to neglect everything around me. The stress turns me into such a monster, I can't control it until the whole project is completed and out of the way. Oh my God. There isn't anything I can do but wait.

End Notes:

I'm really sorry for not updating for 2 months! I hope you love this! And I'll update within 2 weeks! :) PLEASE LEAVE HONEST FEEDBACK!

Chapter 5 Part A: Am I Nuts? by Clouds
September 7, 2001

It's been nearly ten days since I've last tried telling Michael, but apparently with the attitude that he had, it wasn't the time to tell him so. Yeah, I'll tell him next month when I'm half way along. I'm surprised it's been four months and Michael hasn't even realized how I'm acting. Well, I'll be damned, today is his concert which Michael has given me tickets for a few days ago. Pff, and he thinks I'll actually go.

The phone began to rang, and I instantly dashed to get it.

"Hello?" I answered quickly, trying to remain calm though my breathing was heavy.

"Yes, this is Dr. Raymond. I'm here to remind you about your ultrasound appoitment, for Tuesday, September 11th." He reminded.

"Oh Right, what time was it again?" I completely forgot. Crap.

"Seven in the morning." He chuckled. "I'm assuming you forgot."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Good thing you called. I was so caught up with the damn father." I told him as I twirled the phone cable around my finger.

"Well, You're 16 weeks along, and you can figure out the sex of the baby on this appointment. You better get a move on if you don't want conflicting problems with him." He reminded.

"I don't know. He's too stubborn, and I don't know when would be the right time. He has a concert today and on the 10th." I said, completely amazed that he knows who I'm talking about and we haven't even said his name.

"As a friend, tell him before or after the visit that day. It would be good. As a doctor, he has a right to know that he's the father of your child." He stated clearly.

"We already discussed this. Yeah, like you think I'm going to go up to him and say, 'Hey Michael, did you know when we got drunk that night, we made love and now I'm pregnant with your baby?' " I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it." He laughed. "But seriously. Tell him. It doesn't matter if he gets mad or not. He has a complete right to know. What's done is done, and now you two have a whole life planned out just for the sake of the baby."

"You do realize I hate it when you always say the right thing?" I said bluntly.

"That's my job, sweetheart." Dr. Raymond laughed. "DO IT."

I hung up and sat there on my kitchen chair for a while and thought about what he said. It's time to leave the hatred behind, the fear in the past, and try to do the right thing. It's not time to think for myself. I have to think in behalf of this little guy, because he deserves the best. Maybe I'll tell him on Tuesday, after my appointment.

-.-.-.-.-


I looked through the mountain of clothes that I bought a while ago, and I searched high and over until I found the perfect outfit. A light crimson pink knee-length dress was ideal. Well heck, I know it'll be screaming and yelling when I get there, so Its best for me to look nice. I just hope he doesn't eye me since he gave me nearly front row seat. Did he had to make things so difficult? Damn.
Once I was ready, I headed off my apartment, and called for a taxi. If you were ontop off a high building, you would see yellow spots on the floor. It's a good way to shake things up around here. I hate dull colors, its all about vibrancy and doing things off the wall.

I loved how the tall buildings made me feel as if I were in a maze. It's difficult to get around New York if you're new to this place. I, myself have been here for a while, but I'm starting to grow homesick. I was also happy that Michael's album would come out later this month, so I can head back home and not deal with anything. Just me, and this little guy-- or girl.

There was a massive line of people awaiting for Michael's concert. Surely with my make-up and wardrobe, no one would notice who the heck I was-- as if anyone would care anyways. I really don't know why I'm going, but after his second concert, I wanna get the heck out of New York for sure. I miss the warmth of the Mexican sun, and the rich smell of soil after a long dreadful thunderstorm. Unlike here, there's just polluted air, the only view I get is of other buildings, and the annoying sound of cars beeping and people yapping about their day.

I made my way inside the arena since, for once, my cravings for food weren't so high; plus, I couldn't eat the junk food of crap that they sold here. MSG was nearly full, and I was in between two young people, like myself. I had a clear shot of the stage, which was less than ten or twenty feet away. I really hate it when Michael has to give me the best of himself. I could of delt with screaming fans ontop, but I guess he wanted to know if I was coming; so might as well give me seats where I was visible.

The first half of the show was pretty entertaining, but I really didn't like some of those artists covers on Michael's songs. I know no one will be able to make theirs sound better than his, but in an overall rating of clarity and precision they placed into their covers sounded horrible. I'm a horrible critic, I dare say. I noticed Michael was sitting next to Mac and his mother all the way to the right side of the arena. I just prayed that he didn't see me. Nearly through the end of the first half, Michael wasn't in the arena anymore.

I was electrified with his performance with his brothers, I knew it made him happy. But as soon as they reached to I'll Be There, Michael broke down crying. I know Michael well enough to tell the difference from other break-downs on stage and this specific performance. This song hits him hard, but he really had a kick this time.

I would seriously murder the wardrobe designer for Michael's clothing for this show. He looked stunning in pure white and his military legs, and his brothers looked amazing as well. I was completely thrilled with seeing him perform, but I wasn't so happy to be seeing him when I'm angry at him. I may act like a drama queen, but I can't tolerate ignorant people.


The lights cued, a giant white curtain veiled the stage, and Michael's shadow appeared. He danced slowly to 'The Way You Make Me Feel' and it was truely stunning. His slow rhythmic movements made every woman, possibly men too, scream. I just stood there and smirked most of my time because I found it fascinating how Michael completely lost himself in his music. Especially on how he dances with that woman. Off stage, he's a completely different person. But here, it looks like he came from another extra terrestrial planet because his moves were so out of this world. It was so mesmerizing to watch him on television, but actually seeing him live, it's a completely speechless experience...
End Notes:

The next chapter will be long and exciting!

Chapter 5 Part B: "I Know It's Not Me." by Clouds
It's been three days since I've last seen Michael. His last concert was last night, and I just saw it through the television. It was barely at the break of dawn, and I had to get ready to go to another doctor's appoinment for a check-up. Today's clouds were out of the way and the baby blue sky was just gorgeous.

I had enough of using baggy or extra-lengthy dresses and other clothes. It drove me insane that I had to keep this giant secret from the person who deserves to know the most. I've kept this a secret from anyone. I had no friends, I had no family, and I had no one else for support. It was just Michael who was my only friend, but it's sometimes a pain to be so. We are two completely different people from two completely different worlds, but we were united through the only universal language: music. Music brought us together, but I just feel so blessed to even have a friend.

I've completely had enough of hiding this from him. Nothing in the world would stop me now from hiding such a drastic secret from Michael. The lying was reaching it's climax, and my sanity was about to take a turn. I'm done with the disposable anger I had against Michael. It was just my ruthless self that didn't realize why he would act that way. But if Michael continued to act so stubborn, then what's the use. But I had to tell him. I had to. And I know today would be the day.

It was seven o'clock, and I finally decided to get dressed. I would have another ultrasound today, so it would be more pictures that I'd have to hide in the cookbook. I wanted to look somewhat decent today, since I'd had to visit Michael right after. I wore another loose summer dress, in which I couldn't tell for myself if I looked solidly pregnant. I let my ruby chocolate hair down with a simple french braid.

I decended downstairs of my apartment and out into the vast and filled streets of Manhattan. The hospital wasn't so far from where I lived, and everything was of walking distance. The Deli shop, the hospital, and the church were so impeccably close. Along with the gorgeous and massive view of the World Trade Centers was always mesmerizing to see. Once I was finally inside the patient room, of course I had to change.

I peaked at my cell phone, having the greatest urge to dial that number. It's like things could have the ability to change quicker than I'd hoped if I just dialed those digits. It was so tempting like eating a Twinkie. Screw the twinkie.

"Hello?" The soft voice I've been longing to hear answered.

"Michael, it's Alica. I need you to come to the hospital immediately. I have something important to tell you." I said flat out.

"Alicia, what's going on? Are you okay?" He grew worried.

"No time for explanations. It's important, I'm sorry but you have to know. I'll meet you in the lobby at 8:30. " I said bluntly before hanging up.

My figners became numb; it became inevitable that my nervousness was taking a toll. I didn't know why I decided to do this so vaguely, but I couldn't stand keeping something so life-changing from Michael. My vision became a blur, and my mind began spinning like crazy. I didn't know how long it would be until Michael came here, but I also wondered how long it'll take him to realize where I was in the hospital. It was nearly seven thirty and I felt so tired. I felt a weird feeling inside, something that I wondered what it was. I smelled fear and anguish, but certainly not sure for what factor.

Dr. Raymond came in, finally, and had an ultrasound technician with him. I layed flatly on the bed, staring into the vague white ceiling as they plastered my semi-mountain stomach with the cold gel. I looked at the monitor, and all I saw was just white scratches on a blackboard. But as the technician slowly moved the joy stick around, I began to see a little tiny body. My mouth grew wide and open, since this was the first time I actually saw an actual and noticable form of this little guy.

"As you can see, here's the head, and it's two arms." The technician recalled as she gestured the body parts with her pen.

"It's so beautiful..." I said to myself, unaware that my voice was noticable.

Dr. Raymond smiled. "Everything's going perfectly swell. You're eating right, no smoking or drinking; you'll just have a healthy baby."

"That's such good news to hear," I sighed with relief. "I just want him or her to have a proper start in life."

"I don't think you'll want to keep refering it to him or her." Dr. Raymond smiled sincerely. "Would you like to know the sex of the baby, or would you like to wait until you're due?"

I sighed. This is the moment of truth. The moment where everything will change. A boy or a girl. It really didn't matter to me; either way, I'd still love him no matter what.

"Now, please." I smiled.

He replied with a smile as well, and the technician immediately ordered. She swiveled the stick entirely around my stomach, trying to get a glimpse of certain angles to determine the sex. It took her less than a couple minutes until she just stopped and cleaned me up. She wrote little notes on my medical file, and placed things away. Both medical practioners left the room for a moment before returning.

"Alicia," He paused, making me extremely nervous to the bone.

He didn't speak.

"Don't leave me hanging with anticipation, Doc!" I said nervously.

"You're having a baby boy." He said instantly. "Congradulations, Alicia."

"A boy..." I repeated to myself as I stared blankly into space. "A boy...?"

"Yes, A boy," He chuckled. "I leave you to rejoice yourself. I'll be back in a few minutes to do some last minute adjustments."

Though I heard him, I didn't respond. I was so mesmerized that I was actually having a baby boy. I placed my hands on my stomach and gently stroked my son. There was a surge of mixed emotions that I couldn't process at the same time. I was happy that I was having a son, I was scared because I wouldn't know how to raise a child, I was mad at myself for not trying harder to tell Michael, and I feel so nervous in telling him today. Michael would become a father again to another baby boy, biologically. It was so exciting,
Though my mind was in a whole different dimmension, my heart was fluttering with anticipation. A small smile smirked across my face as each passing minute was devoured by endless time. I had no literal idea on how I was going to explain the creation of Michael's son to him. He can't get furious, since we were both drunk, and there's no full blame for it. It's done, and I have the solid evidence of what occured. I imagined how we'd raise him since Michael and I are simply friends, no feelings towards eachother, and we're not together, and I'm considering on leaving the United States for a while once his album was complete.

I changed back into my original clothes, and checked the time. Eight o seven. He'll be here any minute since he likes to be early, and I'd have to watch for the most outlooking person.

"Sorry to interrupt," Dr. Raymond came in. "I'm wondering when will be the big day?"

I chuckled. "He'll be arriving at the hospital any minute." I replied. "It's time to tell him."

"I'll wish for the best of luck, Alicia." He smiled. "Though I should say your next check up is next month."

My smile vanished. "I-- I don't think I'll be in New York by then," I informed. "Once Michael's done recording, I'm out of here."

"Do you think that's the best idea? I mean, you'd tell him, "I'm pregnant with your child and I'm leaving for a while." I don't think he'll let you leave that easily if you tell him. I can tell he's the kind of man who's devoted in his children's lives, and this one is no exception. You have to think about the other side." He explained.

"It's not forever, Doc. I just need to get away from the stress and the Big City." I backfired.

"But I'm sure Michael will follow you." He smirked.

"Damn it." I replied. "It's worth a try."

"All I'm saying is he has a right to know." He reminded.

"Yes, I know," I laughed as I gathered my things before heading out the door. "See you soon."

"I will call to check up on you!" He yelled as I left.


My heart was pounding as I walked through the corridors that led to the lobby. My head was sturring and spinning since I still felt dizzy. I didn't bother telling the doc since I knew him well enough he'll give me a classic remedy to get rid of it. I had a hunch that this day would end badly, and I feared for that. I went to the bathroom to make sure that my dress covered my stomach long enough for me to tell Michael the truth. He'd probably throw a fit on, 'Why didn't you tell me sooner!?' and what not when I clearly tried several times.

I reached the lobby and I searched for Michael. I scanned every body like a check out at the supermarket. I soon found a moderately slim doctor who was covered in scrubs and a Medical mask and cap. Michael was pretty smart when it came to disguises. I slowly walked up to him, who was pretending to talk to a nurse. My arms began to twitch, and my body became immobile. I tapped him on his shoulder, and he immediately jumped. Without a single word, he grabbed my hand, and he led me to the hospital cafeteria. It was wide and vast, and luckily, there wasn't barely any people. I think my dizziness is taking a toll.

"What on earth are you doing here at the hospital? You didn't faint again, did you?" Michael spoke up after an awkward moment of silence.

"Don't change the subject. You know why I made you come in the first place." I snapped back angrily. "Which will bring me back to why I was here."

"Look I'm sorry if I snapped at you at rehearsal. I had a load full that day." Michael apologized. "Why were you here? We both know that we'll forgive and forget, but obviously, the only time I ever seen you in the hospital is when I'm there, and certainly, you're hiding something from me."

I sighed. Crap. "You're right."

"I am?" He said coincidentially.

"Yes." I looked down and played with my fingers, then looking down to my stomach without moving my head. "It's something irrelevant, and something I didn't plan for, nor didn't expect to happen out of my self-doing."

"Alicia, whats going on...?" He asked.

"You have to promise me that you won't get mad," I couldn't keep eye contact with him, but I had to.

"I promise." He said faithfully.

I took a deep breath, ignoring the dizziness I had in my head. "You know I don't have a lot of money, even when you ask me, I refuse, but this will be difficult."

"Alicia, please get to the point! You're making me anxious!" He proclaimed with a loud whisper.

"I'm....I'm pregnant." I said in the most honest way I could ever say while looking directly at his chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, what?!" Michael asked again, sounding a bit shocked.

"I'm. Pregnant."
"You're..." He paused, completely shocked. "Pregnant?"

I nodded shyly. "Yes." I jolted myself up off my seat, and walked over to sit next to Michael. I gently grabbed his overly-large hand, and placed it on my growing stomach. He completely froze, trying to captivate the moment. His eyes shot into mine, and I read shock and confusion.

"How come you didn't tell me sooner?" He whispered.

"How could I? I didn't want to be selfish and get you distracted from your work. I was in shock myself, and I couldn't come towards anyone." I confessed.

"That's still no reason, I'm your friend, right? I wouldn't of minded knowing." Michael said.

Tears began to fall down my face. "I'm just afraid I won't be good enough for him."

"What are you so afraid of, Alicia?" He wondered as he wiped the tears off my face.

"The look on the father's face when he finds out." I murmured.

"Well, you didn't tell him yet?" He wondered.

"No, I was afraid of his reaction." I replied.

"It's great news, how can it possibly be bad? Alicia, how about we both go back home, and you tell him that?" Michael suggested.

"I have no use for that..." I whispered.

"How come?"

"Because..." I paused for a moment, thinking whether this was right. "I'm looking straight at him..."

That instant, Michael's skin became pale. His eyes were filled with shock. He jumped out of his seat, and stepped back. I would of understood the complete shock, I mean, I was like that too, but I was unable to read Michael's face. I'm just afraid he'll take it the wrong way.

"That's...that's impossible. You're lying!" He accused me with fury. "There's no way I can be the father if you and I are just friends."

Oh hell no. "How can you think so low of me? I never meant for this to happen!" I exclaimed. "I would never lie to something this serious!"

"Never meant what? To lie to me so you can get to me? I can't believe you'd so something like this. Messer's the father, not me!" He protested. "There's no way!"

"Michael, if you let me explain, you'd understa--"

"I've had enough with this 'if you'd understand' deal. To think you were my friend; no, you take advantage of me in such a cruel manner. I thought I found someone who at least has the slightest idea of what I've been through."

"You still have!" I whispered loudly. "I don't want this baby now! I'm not ready for such a commitment! I never planned this, it just came to be!"

"So you still lie and come to me for help? You'd fit perfectly on Broadway because I'm still not buying it." Michael accused.

"NO!" I exclaimed. "That's the last thing I'd ever do!"

"I get it now." He chuckled. "You acted so different these past few months and now I know why. Your mysterious ways... it didn't work this time! Try convincing this story to some other man, see if you'll get a loot out of it. I know I can't be the father."

"Fine. Believe what you want. You don't know me at all, because if you did, you'd believe me. I'd do anything before hurting you. Watch, the next time you'll ever see me is when I'm dead." I yelled with such fury.

"Take that baby to Messer. I know it's his. I don't think I would ever waste my time with you." Michael backfired before storming out of the cafeteria.

And just like that, he left. This is what I feared; rejection, and denial. My dizziness began to take a toll. I tried ignoring it by getting something to eat. A nice green leafy salad with orange juice seemed to have worked, but now I was getting a massive headache. I couldn't top thinking of what happened; Rejection. I know Michael and I know how he interacts with people and how he simply deletes them as if he had a delete button. I knew I couldn't go back to him. Not now, not ever.

Suddenly, I heard a loudroaring sound followed by a death defying boom. I nearly lost my balance considering it felt like an earthquake. People were curious to what happened, and they began to scatter like rats. Someone turned on the television news to see what was going on.

"-- A very disturbing live shot there. That is the World Trade Center and we have unconfirmed reports this morning that a plane has crashed into one of the towers..."


A plane hit the WTC? Crap, that's just some blocks away! How's it possible! I was completely shocked, everyone was. What the hell? Was the pilot drunk? The thick clouds coming from the top of the North Tower was so scary, I feared for the people inside. What was going on?

My vision became extremely blurry, I nearly found myself blind. Everything became pitch black as if someone surprisingly jumped and placed a bandana over my eyes. I felt my dizziness disappear and my head felt extremely light. I fell to the floor since my knees completely collapsed on me as if I weighed a ton. I soon realized, I thought I died.

"Help! Get a doctor here immediately!" A nurse yelled. Who was hurt? "A woman just collapsed!"
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