When Steph woke up, she didn't find herself in the seat of the teleporter anymore.
Instead, she found herself in a large comfortable four-post bed. In fact, it was so comfortable, she regretted she sat up to take a look at her surroundings.
Her bed appeared to be in the middle of a large room, all her boxes had been unpacked, and best of all, her entire MJ collection was spread wonderfully across the four walls of her room, and was expanded further, as she noticed her t-shirts of Michael were in a white wardrobe which had a black MJ stencil on it.
At times like this, she absolutely loved having an aristocrat's blood running through her veins.
Steph imagined how huge the rest of the place would be, the high ceilings, the large dining table, the wonderful smell of food from the kitchens, the home cinema, the massive indoor water park and pool, the library filled with books old and new, the dance room with all it's mirrors, and oh so many other things her great-grandmother let out whenever she had came to see her great-granddaughter.
But now, Steph felt like sinking back into her new bed, closing her eyes and let her mind drift somewhere else away from the fact that she was really here till the war was over.
She reconsidered doing it.
'Nah,' Steph thought to herself, grinning, 'This definitely needs some analysis of awesome around here, and I HAVE to do this!'
So she did, leaping out from under the covers and practically flying all over her massive room, staring at one thing for a small amount of time before jumping to the next.
"Don't Blame it on the Sunshine, Don't Blame it on Moonlight, Don't Blame on the Good Times, Blame it on the Boogie!" Steph sang as she let her hand run and feel all the fabrics of her new clothing also now in her wardrobe, the music then kicking in.
Steph stopped. Music?
She listened closely, and sure enough, 'Blame it on the Boogie' was playing loudly in her room.
She punched her fist into the air. A music player that immediately played a song by recognizing the lyrics?! OH YEAH!
Steph tested the floor for dancing quality. Perfect. Her moonwalk even kicked in when the music came to 'I just can't, I just can't, I just can't control my feet!' She laughed, she couldn't control her feet from dancing or running at all.
'Good sparkling glove above,' she thought, 'All this is just made from family heritage. My family was rich back then,' she giggled.
The music turned off when a suited figure opened the door to her room. "Ah, Miss Kisstern, you're up. My name is Barnaby, and I'm the butler for Ms. B, otherwise known as your great-grandmother."
Steph stopped dancing and looked at Barnaby, "Oh, good afternoon. Is there any reason for you to check on me or...?"
"Actually, I have some news and a letter for you from your great-grandmother. She told me not to tell you and let you read the letter, but..." Barnaby sighed, "I'm afraid Ms. B passed away yesterday. She really was looking forward to see you Miss Kisstern..."
Steph's face fell. She was looking forward to seeing her too and was pretty much bawling on the inside, but she kept herself firm and put on a calm face, even though it may have had a lot of sadness and disappointment in it as she took the letter from Barnaby and whispered thank you to him.
"Any time Miss Kisstern,"
"Please, do call me Stephanie..."
"As you wish Stephanie," Barnaby whispered back before leaving and closing the door.
As soon as Barnaby was gone, Steph opened the envelope carefully, as there was a beautiful drawing of Michael on the front of it, only to find out it wasn't stuck closed with that lick-and-it sticks thing.
Inside the envelope, there were photos, and the letter.
'Dearest (oh God what?!) Great-Granddaughter Stephanie,
Steph giggled. She knew her great-grandmother didn't like being old, and had been the source of her cheeky and witty sense of humor.
'By the time you are reading this now, I will be dead...and partying with Michael up there, and you're stuck here in this ridiculous thing of a mansion during the war and not really having any idea what to do with it.
"GRANDMOTHER YOU EFFIN TROLL!" Steph yelled, laughing before continuing on with the letter.
'You're also probably wondering who are going to have as a friend, apart from Barnaby, who is a bit younger as me as I write this. (Pity. I really would've loved to be at least his age.) Well, don't worry.
'Because I have that sorted.
'Go to the shops down the road, find one that says 'Celebrity Units', and tell the wo/man at the counter that you are Stephanie Mills. S/he will get you to sign something and after that, you'll be asked to leave.
'And if you're wondering why, you'll see. Just wait three days after that, and you'll understand.
'Love from your dearest old woman,
'Maddy B.
'P.S. I also have some photos of me when I was younger. Looking back now, you look like me, except from those eyes of yours. I don't want you to see me as an old lady anymore. I'd love you to at least remember your old lady as a teenager and a baby. Please? It would make me so happy up there.
'P.P.S. Call me Maddy. It's more comfortable for me, even though it is an alibi.'
At the end of the letter, Steph was giggling her head off. Of course her 'old woman' had to put in her classic humor. She then pulled out the photos from the envelope.
Good glove, Maddy was right. She did look like a young Steph when she was 13.
Steph smiled. "Barnaby? Is it possible to arrange some transport to the 'Celebrity Units' shop down the road?"
"Will do Stephanie. Just at least get into some cleaner clothing." Barnaby answered back on what seemed to be a link-phone. Ooh yeeah. Real epic right now.
She sighed. "Thanks Barnaby." And with that, she jumped into the massive wardrobe that was now hers.
Steph sat on the edge of her bed, anxious to see what would happen. Three days ago, she did what had her late great-grandmother asked her in one of her last letters. She had gone to the Celebrity Units store, told the clerk at the counter that her name was Stephanie Mills and signed something before being asked to leave. After that, she did a bit of shopping for herself, but she didn't really get much from there after that... If you call 100 large sketchbooks, coloring pens and pencils, crayons, paint, large canvases and graphite pencils not much.
"Stephanie?" Barnaby's voice returned her to reality, "There are nine packages waiting for you outside."
So that what was here in three days. But why the wait? And what was inside them?
"Coming," Steph replied, jumping off the edge of her bed and running through the doors of her room, flying past all the paintings, the kitchen, and the fantastic ballroom, where the main entrance to the mansion and the packages stood. They were tall, and Steph stared at them all in excitement. She got hyper after she noticed another letter from Maddy attached to one of the packages. She pulled it off the paper, opened it and read it.
'Steph? Maddy here, but before you continue reading, put the letter back on the box you got it on, lie the packages down flat, and let the wrapping from them fly. Then you may continue.'
Steph shrugged. "Ok..." So once she lay all nine packages down on the ground, leaving the letter next to the one she pulled it off from, she started ripping off all the packaging paper from all of them, not really paying attention what it was underneath until she finished the last one and gasped.
They were all Michael Jackson Celebrity Unit dolls. From the Jackson 5 to This Is It. They all had their eyes closed and looked so realistic.
She was sure that she didn't sign her name as Stephanie Mills for this.
But how did Maddy know that the letter would be on Steph's favorite era, Dangerous?
She dashed back to the Dangerous Era doll's box, grabbed the letter and continued reading.
'HAHAHAHAHA! I got you again Stephie! I tricked you into ordering all the dolls from every era!'
"Agh, MADDY YOU MOTHEREFFIN TROLL!" Steph cracked up laughing, not stopping until she had to read the rest of the letter, slightly wondering why none of the dolls had woken up to her yelling yet.
'I knew sometime sooner or later I had to pass away, so I decided to have all these dolls ordered under your name, so that you would have some friends around, and you wouldn't have to embarrass poor Barnaby.
'I'm sorry it took you three days for the dolls to arrive, but I specifically made sure there was some extra programming in there, so they'll know who they are, but they'll only have memories of that era and the ones before them, and you're going to have to introduce yourself to them. I guess it's more nice that way.
'Love from your old woman,
'Maddy.'
Steph giggled. She opened the Dangerous Era's box and found a manual inside it. Her first thought was to skip it, but on second thoughts, she decided to go ahead and read it.
MICHAEL JACKSON: User Guide and Manual
Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own MICHAEL JACKSON unit! To ensure that you drain every last drop of wonderful from your unit, we have provided this user manual: reading it would be advised if you don’t want to die or get maimed.
At that, Steph wondered why anyone would die or get maimed by the units, but decided to keep reading before she had any bad mental images in her head.
Responds Positively To: Michael, MJ, Mikey, Mijo, Miguel, Applehead, Peter Pan, Mikhail, Lithuania (This one will be explained later.) and Maikeru-san.
'Maikeru-San?' Steph thought, 'Heh, must be some Japanese thing...'
Responds Hesitantly To: Maiki-kun, JoJo, Space Michael, Captain, Eo, Maestro, Otaku, Applebutt, and Gold-Crotch.
Responds Negatively To: Rapist, Poser, Pedopan, Pedophile, Freak, Wacko Jacko, and Child Molester.
Steph nodded in agreement at that part. The company was smart on knowing what Michael hated and liked being called.
Age: This depends on which model you get-
Off the Wall Model: 21
Thriller Model: 24
Bad Model: 29
Dangerous Model: 33
HIStory Model: 36
Blood on the Dance Floor Model: 40
Invincible Model: 45
This Is It Model: 50
Height: 5'11
Weight: Though he may keep his figure, his weight tends to change depending on his intake of certain foods which can be pretty bipolar.
Length: WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU!? HE’S A GENTLEMAN! GET YOUR DAMN HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!
Steph snickered. Sounded like something Maddy would yell.
Your MICHAEL JACKSON unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) sequin glove
One (1) black sparkly jacket
One (1) microphone
Three (3) pairs of black penny loafers
Five (5) button-up, long sleeve shirts
Two (2) white T-shirts
One (1) pair of blue jeans
Three (3) pairs of black slacks
Two (2) black blazers
One (1) red leather jacket
One (1) red changshan
One (1) Lithuania and/ or Russia cosplay
One (1) Roy Mustang cosplay
Six (6) friendship bracelets
Two (2) black fedoras
One (1) set of blue-striped pajamas
Ten (10) hair-ties
One (1) 100 page sketch pad
Two (2) 100 page composition note books
One (1) music notebook
Five (5) pencils
Five (5) artist’s ink-pens
One (1) Kenya unit
Your MICHAEL JACKSON unit is equipped with the following traits:
Singer/ Dancer- the real Michael Jackson was an amazing performer, so why wouldn’t this unit be also? He learns notes and steps quickly, and has incredible potential.
Writer/ Poet- Though not very well known for his writing, he’s incredibly good at it. He may be able to even get a few books published while in your care. He also comes up with amazing, and unique songs.
Comic Artist/ Manga Writer- Your unit is extremely creative, and imaginative with his ideas, and can draw them out very well. He is good with realism drawing as well as chibis and anime-based styles. Plus he has fun doing it. He may also take to drawing doujinshis. Fair warning, he may take a slight interest in shounen-ai or shoujo-ai, but he will never go as far as yaoi or yuri.
Elementary Teacher- He is very patient and bright. He will take his time with each student, to make sure they understand and get a good grasp on what they are learning. All of his students will adore him.
Babysitter- He is very good with kids, and knows exactly how to take care of them. It doesn’t matter if they’re bratty or not, he will be patient and will get them to behave somehow. He will punish them, but will never go as far as spanking or hitting. He will more than likely be a favorite among the kids he takes care of.
Actor/ Voice Actor- He is a very good actor. If he finds even the slightest link between him and a part, he will become extremely in character. He can mimic voices well, especially ones from cartoons and anime. Particularly from Hetalia: Axis Powers. This is why he responds to Lithuania, who he can voice well and is very similar to.
Cook- He is an insanely good cook, who comes up with tons of recipes. He has very good taste, and will be an instant hit with whoever he cooks for.
Removal of your MICHAEL JACKSON Unit from packaging:
This unit can be very sweet, but if you wake him up the wrong way, he may (though inadvertently) hurt you. To prevent this, we have included this list of ways to wake him up.
1) Play any Motown music and Michael will slowly wake up and begin to sing along. When the music is over, he will knock on the top of his box and politely ask for you to let him out.
2) Play "Rhythm Nation" and he will burst out of he crate and start to dance to it. Make sure that you’re a good distance away when using this option if you don’t want to get hit. After realizing what has happened, he will apologize and start baking something for you.
3) Use any racial slur, and he will furiously kick his way out of the crate. He will be in his Angry and/ or Frustrated mode automatically if you chose to do this, and this option isn’t advised if you want to have a good relationship with this unit. First impressions count.
'So Option Three is not to be used at all,' Steph chided to herself.
4) Turn on the Kenya unit that came with him. She will start barking and Michael will wake up automatically and snuggle with his beloved pet. When he notices you, he will ask playfully if you want to pet her.
Steph glanced inside the box, and what do you know, there was a puppy unit in there. She then realized she was going to have nine dogs running through the mansion like nuts. There had better be some way to make dog manure, if the Kenyas decided to lay droppings.
5) If you think it is safe to wake him up yourself, then go ahead and take him out. Just realize that it may take awhile. Michael can be a very heavy sleeper. If you want something quick, then shoot him with a water-gun. Be warned that later, he will probably get you back somehow.
Option Five sounded the most fun, but Steph decided to keep reading.
After you successfully get your MICHAEL JACKSON unit out of his box, you can reprogram him to any of the following modes:
Sweet (default)
Happy (default)
Frustrated
Angry
Otaku
Flustered
Mischievous
Sexy
Sadistic (locked)
Perverted (locked)
Flipped (locked)
This unit is naturally a kind, giving, energetic, happy person. If you want him like this, then leave him as is.
His Frustrated and Angry modes can be activated if you or anyone else around shows apathy or intolerance. It can also be activated if he has a bad case of writer’s block or art block. He will keep to himself most of the time, and will fly into negative mood-swings. To get him out of this mode, simply assertively tell him to stop and he will apologize, and if he’s still grumpy or quiet, give him some chocolate and sunflowers and send him to his room. He will be his old self again in the morning.
Otaku is almost automatic once you show him any anime or manga. He will listen to J-pop and Vocaloid, and buy quite a collection of manga novels and anime DVD’s. It’s impossible to permanently get him out of this mode. He will tone down eventually, but he’ll still love his manga and anime and will gladly watch it with you. Particularly Hetalia: Axis Powers, Fullmetal Alchemist, Sgt. Frog and InuYasha.
Steph then remembered that Maddy told her she had a friend who used to be obsessed with Hetalia, and met her descendant. Maybe she could get some help from her...
Flustered is activated when girls start flirting with him, he does something embarrassing, or if someone is telling dirty jokes. He will turn red, start shaking a little and start stammering or rambling. If he isn’t doing that, then he will be very quiet. To snap him out of this, just let him camp out in his room, and he’ll forget about it by morning.
Mischievous is activated when someone pranks him. He will get you back and start a prank-war. Though this can be fun, it gets old after awhile, but Michael will still be going strong. To snap him out of this, prank him pretty badly and post it on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace. He will learn his lesson, and more than likely will never go into this mode again unless you ask him to.
Sexy mode is activated by getting him into his Flustered mode first by flirting with him. Keep it up and he’ll eventually feel comfortable and slowly slip into his Sexy mode. (Please note that this may take days or even weeks.) You know that it has worked once he starts flirting back. Your unit will start trying to "get it on" with anyone he sees. Just make sure that you’re the only one he sees, and you should be fine. To get him out of this state, lock him up in the box he came with, or in his room, and he’ll fall asleep and be over it by the time he wakes up.
Sadistic is locked for a reason. It is activated when you tell him that someone he loves is killed, murdered, raped, molested or tortured. He will stop at nothing to get revenge in the worst ways possible. He will lock himself up in his room during the day and will go out late at night. You know for sure if he’s in this mode if he comes home with blood on his hands. Keep your distance. It is impossible to knock him out of this. Contact us immediately after he slips into this mode and we will deactivate him.
Steph stopped reading in shock. There was a mode like this? Why? She decided to keep going in order to keep her mind off it.
Perverted is activated after you get him dead drunk. He will be resistant about drinking because he knows what will happen if he does, which makes this mode harder to get him into. He will start chasing as many skirts as he can when this mode is activated, and will be a major flirt. He’s a jerk when in this mode, and we have no idea why anyone would want him in this mode. But he can slip into it, so we’re giving you a friendly warning. To get him to stop, hit him in the head and make him go to sleep. He’ll have a terrible hangover when he wakes, but he will make sure to say sorry.
Flipped tends to happen on accident. When in this mode he will be almost the exact opposite of his usual default modes. This occurs after a bad blow to the head. To make him stop acting like this, just hit him hard over the head again and then he’ll revert to his old self. Again, like he would after getting out of his perverted mode, he will make sure to apologize.
Cleaning:
He can clean himself up nicely on his own. But will go into his Flustered mode if you try to help him or get in the bath with him, so don’t ask.
Feeding:
He can cook for himself, but his tastes tend to change. He eats heathy foods one day, and then the next, he will have a sweet-tooth. He likes Chinese and Mexican food, and is up for it any time. He may eat quite a bit of candy also.
Rest:
He goes to sleep around 10:00 PM and wakes up around 7:00 AM. The only way this will be disrupted is if he pulled an all-nighter writing, drawing, watching anime, or doing a little "something"with a certain someone if in his Sexy mode. He will sleep with others, but it is purely an innocent gesture, unless he’s in his Sexy mode of course...
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: My unit is bringing a lot of animals into the house, and it’s gotten so bad, I found a mouse in my cereal bowl! Help me!
A: Your unit loves animals. He tends to bring quite a few along with him, but they also follow him. He may not be the one responsible for all the animals coming into your home. They’re probably following Michael like a mother hen. Just don’t let Michael get attached to them, and find them all another home.
Q: My unit ran out of paper and is sketching and writing all over my walls. What should I do?
A: Just buy him some other notebooks. After that he will apologize and clean up after himself.
Steph grinned. She didn't mind that they could use her own to-be-used sketchbooks, and in fact, there was one empty white room in the mansion that was DESPERATE for colour...
Q: My unit walked in on me while I was changing and he got a major nosebleed and fainted. What the hell just happened?
A: He got knocked into his Flustered mode. But this is the more extreme case. Just let him rest and camp out in his room for awhile.
Q: I accidently hit my unit in the head and now he can’t sing. What’s wrong with him?
A: Something probably got disconnected when he was hit. Call someone to fix him and then re-activate him. After that, he should be fine.
Q: My unit has been having bad nightmares lately. What’s up?
A: He may have been listening to some of the darker Vocaloid songs. Since the units are also popular in places where English isn’t the national language he is programmed to understand and speak more than thirty-seven languages. Because of this, he understands the lyrics in the songs he’s been listening to, and that may be the source of his nightmares. If it isn’t this, then he’s been trying to force himself to watch horror movies he just can take. If that still isn’t the case, then he’s been reading Stephen King.
Troubleshooting:
Instead of a fully-grown MICHAEL JACKSON unit, there was a small boy dressed in clothes from the 1960's asking for Miss Diana or his mother.
Oops! We sent you a Jackson 5 Model by accident! He isn’t much different than his fully-grown models, with the exception of the Perverted and Sexy modes. He will however have a Flirt mode that is activated in much the same way as the standard unit's Sexy mode. He is also much more quiet around new people. He’ll eventually come out of his shell though, but if you want to replace him with another model, just contact us and your new model will be there the next morning.
Michael is acting a lot like one of his alter egos.
We may have accidently sent you a unit of the particular character rather than Michael. If it bothers you, then go ahead and send him back.
Instead of a guy, you got what looks like a female version of Michael.
Oops again! We accidently sent you the gender-bend model. The name itself is self-explanatory. She isn’t much different than the other models, however she is slightly more quiet, and gets offended more easily. If you want to send her back and get another model, go for it.
Follow this manual, and you should get along just fine with Michael. If you have anymore questions just contact us at celebrityunitscompany.com
Steph finished reading and placed it next to the letter from Maddy. All that was left to do was to try and wake Michael up, her own way.
But how?
Steph smiled. She knew just the thing.
All that was needed was to find a large soundproof room and an air horn.
This was gonna be sweet.
When she finally got the Dangerous Era doll in the soundproof room and the air horn, Steph immediately knew her plan had a lot of flaws and this Michael could potentially have a bad first impression of her.
She decided to take out the Kenya unit and keep it as a backup if anything went wrong.
She glanced around. The door was shut, the box was open, the Kenya unit was ready for backup, and the air horn was in her hand.
Steph gulped and raised it high.
Three...
Two...
One...
PHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
"Ahh!" Michael sat up straight, shocked and confused, looking around the room for the source of the loud noise.
Without thinking and quick as a flash, Steph placed the air horn in Kenya's mouth and turned it on, and the puppy jumped to the ground and bounding to her master, tail wagging.
Michael then looked at his puppy skidding to him and laughed as she leapt into her master's lap, snuggling in, then playfully growling as he tried to get an air horn out of the pup's mouth.
Steph couldn't help but giggle at the sweet sight.
He then looked up at her, now wondering who the giggling was coming from before smiling. "Hey."
"Uhh...hi." Steph blushed.
"It's okay, no need to be shy. Did you want to pet Kenya?" The puppy barked in response, dropping the air horn and letting Michael grab it.
Steph nodded shyly. Why did Maddy have to start her off with her favorite era to wake up? But she ignored that she walked over and started scratching Kenya behind the ears.
"So...what's your name?" Michael asked, his dark brown eyes looked into her lighter ones.
"Stephanie. Stephanie Kisstern. Call me Steph though," she smiled, extending her free hand to shake his and he accepted it.
"Well nice to meet you Steph, I'm Michael."
Steph blushed. Why Maddy, why?
She was thankfully saved from blushing further when Barnaby knocked on the door.
"Stephanie, there is a guest waiting for you outside," he called.
"Who is he?" Michael asked, curious.
"Barnaby, the butler. We're in a pretty massive mansion that my late Great-Grandmother Maddy used to own. I'm the one owning it now."
Michael stared at her in bewilderment, "Seriously?"
"Wanna go to the indoor water park and slides later?"
"No way."
"Yeah way--"
"STEEEEPHIIIIIIIEEEEE!"
"GYAHHHHH!"
Steph was immediately tackle-hugged down by an old friend of hers, and coincidentally, the descendant of one of Maddy's old friends.
"God, your new house is AWESOME! Steph, I haven't seen you in ages!"
"Blue? Good Sparkling Glove how did you get here?!"
"My mom got a message from yours and she sent me, so pretty much the same reason, avoiding the war. I'm just in an apartment next to the Celebrity Units store down the road."
"Apartment? Pfft, Blue, you're allowed come here anytime you want."
"Meh, I'm fine with my apartment- is that an MJ Unit?" Blue blurted after seeing Michael.
"One of nine, yeah."
Blue stared at Steph with a look of disbelief, "You ordered nine of them?"
"Actually, my Great-Grandmother tricked me into doing that. You two wanna help me wake up the others?"
Michael nodded with a grin on his face and Blue pretty much spazzed excitedly, "Sure! What's the plan?"
Steph's mind started it's cogs and gears and sped up as she formulated a plan before snapping her fingers, "I got it. The Off The Wall and Jackson 5 eras will be woken up by Motown music, our Michael here will wake up Bad and Thriller with Rhythm Nation, HIStory and BOTDF with their Kenya units being turned on by Blue, and Invincible and This Is It...we'll all do it together, mainly Blue since she's gonna have a lot of fun of doing the honours of placing the two on a waterslide and letting them fly into the pool. After that we're gonna have a super-soaker fight."
Michael and Blue's eyes lit up in excitement at the thoughts of dropping the last two eras into the pool and having a super-soaker fight. Blue was practically drooling about it already.
"Um...earth to Blue and Michael? You there?"
"Oh, sorry."
"We're here."
"Kay then. Let's get to waking them up."
