[Report This]Date: Mar 29, 2015 02:07 pm Title: Chapter 27
Still reading, just really engrossed. I'm not sure if I buy Jackie's sudden character change. It's too dramatic and too quick.
I'm glad Michael is getting clean. Detox is dangerous, she is right. Thankfully his isn't from alcohol.
Author's Response:
Lol Jackie hasn't changed. But at the same time: this is a first person narrative. I'm a big believer in keeping first person narrative confined within the perspective of the character who is the narrator. Jackie hasn't changed, but Michael has. ;-)
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 11:02 pm Title: Chapter 17
He needs to request that Jackie get fired or transfered or whatever. And her saying that Chris owns her? There aren't enough synonyms for "no".
Can I vote her out of the story, even if it is done?
I knew the dude would be introduced soon...as soon as those flashbacks started, I started looking out for signs. Good use of repetition, btw.
Author's Response:
Well thank u! Lol
A lot of ppl want to vote Jackie off the island. Lol
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 02:29 pm Title: Chapter 16
TBH, I'd push away Chris too, after finding out that he'd held that party.
Author's Response:
:-D me too probably lol
Date: Mar 28, 2015 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 15
She had zero interest in me as a person. None what so fucking ever.
^^ Ding ding! We have a winner for the No-Shit-Sherlock Award. Sorry, there is no trophy, but there is a party bag of guilt and shame. Oh, and embarrassment when you get caught.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 02:11 pm Title: Chapter 13
Michael needs to get his mind off of her perfect but superficial and opportunistic ass.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 02:07 pm Title: Chapter 12
My definition of a strong man isn't the stereotypical version of a "masculine" man. I have NO time for a man who doesn't express emotion, never needs a shoulder to lean on, and is entirely wrapped up in sports, cars, muscles, and tools. To me, a strong man will cry, he just won't cry at everything. A strong man will express his fears and insecurities, just as he will his strengths and pride. A strong man will sometimes take the lead. The way you have portrayed Michael is becoming stronger.
Back to the story. That convo between Chris and Casey had me cracking up. Sexuality is a lot more fluid than people think (e.g. M/M sex isn't gay if there is no relationship, the person who's on top isn't gay, etc).
Great usage of a cliffhanger ending.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 01:55 pm Title: Chapter 10
I call b.s. on the earning potential. Michael could pull in over a million in a night.
Michael's response wasn't ridiculous imo. If Chris wants a relationship, he should've been upfront about the fact that his ex was around and they were going to meet. Should MJ have been more direct? Hell yeah. At the same time, he's not sure how to deal with a M/M relationship and as such he is in an even more vulnerable position.
Part of my brain wondered how much more like a Harlequin romance novel heroine I could possibly act.
^my neck hurts from nodding.
That scene was sexy as hell.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 01:24 pm Title: Chapter 9
You may have just inspired me to write a segment on writing slash. I've read slash before, but had always avoided MJ slash (I'm female and regardless of whether I'd ever have a chance, I'd like the fantasy of there being one...), so I had avoided writing about it. Thusfar, how you've written this story has me wishing more slash wrote like you do. I won't blow smoke, though. I still hold my reservations about Michael's weepiness and adoption of the stereotypical "damsel in distress" role. I'm trusting in you to follow through on your statement that you'll add dimension to that in this story (you already have, to some degree).
On another note: I love the attention you spend to Michael's thoughts.
Author's Response:
Well one of the things I wanted to do in this book was embrace the idea that michael was not a stereo typical macho male. He's a man. He's even a nobel, good, upstanding man. But his masculinity comes out in intellect, in being able to face his demons and help others face their's. So you will see this strength yes. But only after a while.
Also, I took some pains here to show that michael it dealing with past trauma and a few other not so awesome things.
I'm interested to see if my idea of what a strong man is and yours match up by the end of the book or if they ate quite different. :-D
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 01:11 pm Title: Chapter 8
Someone, not me, but someone had convinced her that she was dating me. Probably some two bit hack with a half-assed imitation of my voice and a Skype account with a webcam that was always conveniently broken.
^ This frustrates me to no end. I've known people who've been torn up by this. Not to mention the dude out there with a huge following who is still pulling this shit.
I love the naturalness of the interactions between Chris and Michael. Whereas Chris came across overly...desperate in the beginning, with time, their interactions are more consistent with that of a sexy flirtation. Well, a flirtation that overlies a dialogue and interactions that reveal an underlying...comfort with one another. I hope that makes sense.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 01:00 pm Title: Chapter 7
Ugh. Jackie is like the Mary Sues that drive me crazy. Opportunistic, superficial, and simply use their bodies to get ahead. Doesn't even try for smart or tantalizing dialogue.
Author's Response:
Rofl!!!! Omg u remind me so much of someone who said the same thing. Thank u for reading. Enjoying ur feedback a lot.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 12:47 pm Title: Chapter 6
I just realized that you have labeled the +18 chapters. I appreciate that. At the same time, it upsets me that there is an unwritten double standard (i.e. you have to put disclaimers for any remotely m/m sexual interaction)
"That condition lasted as I got back to the suite, climbed into the show, and went through my ritual of dressing for a relaxing evening."
^That created a very interesting visual lol.
Chris' patience is a welcome relief from most fanfics on here.
Author's Response:
I agree that it is a double standard. Unfortunately I think many fans don't know what "slash" is and get offended when they wander into a m/m fic.
I did not label my other story this way however. So far no problems.
Date: Mar 28, 2015 12:01 pm Title: Chapter 4
I'm rather uncomfortable with Michael acting so weepy and insecure constantly. It feels like he's become so weak and dependent.... I hope that he gets more balls/strength as the story progresses.
Author's Response:
Part of what's going on with him will be revealed later on as we progress. He does find his strength and healing. Bear with me. ;-)
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 11:37 am Title: Chapter 2
Such a sweet chapter. I like the added twist of his ex being a woman.
[Report This]Date: Mar 28, 2015 11:23 am Title: Chapter 1
Very unique beginning. I rather like it! I'm used to seeing slash that is essentially shallow smut, so this is a welcome change. No wonder I've seen such positive endorsements of it!
[Report This]Date: Mar 16, 2015 03:13 pm Title: Chapter 10
daaaamn chris is really pleasing michael, that was steamy. that ex boyfriend might get in the way some time later again though, I dont have a good feeling about him.