Reviewer: KerenOlivero Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Mar 10, 2015 04:08 am Title: When the Dog Bites. When the Bee Stings

quite a list there. with the grammar thing, I'm a perfectionist there so there are moments where I would cringe and even be mad at myself for spelling something wrong..but I do let some spelling mistakes slide like if the author has a learning disability and they try their hardest to get beta to aide them or something..I basically let it slide once I understand what they were trying to convey in the chapter..

I will admit I am rather picky..if something bugs me too much I just don't read it or I stop reading if I had started..here is my list:

1.during an argument with Michael the OG acts her shoe size instead of her age

2.lack of research (especially if it's something that could be easily be looked up via Google)

3. overeggageration of Michael's flaws, for  example there being a heavy emphasis on them that it makes Michael have no redeeming traits..like thinking just because he cussed sometimes when the occasion called for it, taking it to mean he did it all the time so it looks like he has limited vocabulary or has no class

4.Michael doing things totally against his character without explanation/logical reason(unless it's a parody or spoof)

5.Paris, Prince and Blanket being portrayed as bratty without explanation when Mr. Mesereau has said how well mannered they are.true, the two oldest has had their issues in their teen years but having them be Arviso-esque as a small child? really?

6. love triangles..started to hate them when they become the same thing over and over (Michael and OG are dating, an ex comes there and starts being jealous and Michael ends up cheating on one with the other until forced to choose)

7.Character bashing. This should probably number 1 on the list.  I was taught when I first started writing how imperative it is to be careful how treating non-favorite characters. (unless doing a fic where one can get away with breaking the rule). I have especially grown weary of the Lisa being a villainess in fics. I mean I can read if it's written in a believable way and if something happens to make her show her better side but being one dimensional formula has started to get a bit old and cliche..I get she has major issues and serious flaws but flat out evil? no.. she has strong points as well as weak points. also when I consider there are much worse people Michael had dealings with, and Madonna wasn't any nicer and I don't see her being used..who knows..maybe it's because I looked at both sides whilst reading about the details of the marriage revealed (on Vindicate Michael blog) or maybe because I made the decision to forgive or at least not be comsumed by the grudge. long story short I believe there should be balance with not so great characters just as there should be balance with awesome characters or else leave them be.

other than these, I am generally "so be it, as long as the fic is well-written" when it comes to stories. 

Author's Response:

2. LOL I decided to go easy on that one. I'm realizing more and more the difference between being trained in research and not, makes. Practice makes this easier and quicker. While I don't mean for that to be an excuse, I can see why some people avoid it....I mean, if you are counting seconds and perceive doing research/checking the quality of your sources as cumbersome, the chances of someone actually doing it decrease.

3. Agreed. I see the same happen with people extending the fact that he pursued one married woman to assume he had no respect for the sanctity of marriage and no problem jumping screwing random women.

4.

5. Agreed. My understanding is that Paris was very nice to fans, they were very well-behaved in general, and Michael took a lot of pride in their behavior.

6. You just listed a few things that I can't stand. The cheating behavior, the ex, and Michael even entertaining the ex.

7. Agreed. Everyone has a story. Sometimes it's harder to uncover those stories, and sometimes part of it is an inborn characteristic (e.g.**deleted explanation b/c it's irrelevant**), but 9.8 times out of 10, there is a story.  Like you mentioned - there are multiple sides to each of those stories. Given the information I've read, heard, and learned, I'm not a fan of LiMP. I also don't think she's ...just as I think that Michael's way of dealing with conflict ultimately bit him in the ass on many occassions. Was he still an incredible human being? Yes.

Thanks for the ideas!

Reviewer: Kunda Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 10, 2015 12:47 am Title: When the Dog Bites. When the Bee Stings

Point 7 in the cringe worth portion is my downfall for AMOUR. I've gotten many a complaint about that and I totally understand how it makes sense coming from a readers point of view. It's been a busy couple weeks, hell, month and then some. I've been unable to post let alone write. But I keep up with these tips like they're the bible... this one post compelled me to respond because it really hits home with me.

Like another said, you ain't never lied.

It's true, in regards to everything romance novelesque or not, weak leads are a total turn off. That is one thing I loathe especially, female leads that literally can't lift a finger for themselves. 

Loise Lane (Superman)

Mary Jane (Spiderman)

I'm like really bitch? As if the hero ain't something more important to do than to save your raggedy ass every doggone minute.

With that being said, as stated before, I have been nudged about my lead being cut from the typical cloth of the damsels in distress. Although I don't completely disagree with that opinion I will defend by stating that her character still has a lot of growing to do.

I haven't posted in eons but I do still have a purpose for Kelly. Those who really dig a little deeper can see that, for who and what she is,  she's really not helpless at all. A little weak, but but that's natural. I can't hulkify her. But I totally would if I could. 

Anyway. 

I look forward to your posts so much.

Every single word of advise you write is aspiring writers gold. I'm not even trying to Brown nose right now. I wish more people could or would take a second to just study this. 

Here's to you. 

I appreciate this.

Author's Response:

Thanks Kunda :) You have me

You may have made a similar faux pas, but the way you made it isn't insurmountable. I'm going off of memory, but I think I remember enough for this to be an accurate account of my perpective.  To be quite direct, the way you wrote it has a number of strengths that keeps the story from becoming super cliche: Michael was hesitant to engage in any relationship with her b/c of her age, the scenes in which he is father-ish are also typically scenes that have twists, and the OG is a survivor of rape. Being a survivor of rape tends to get (good) guys' backs up. If not frozen in fear of making a misstep, they get very protective. Whether the abuse is known or not, their is often something in the woman that pulls for their protective nature to emerge.

I'm like really bitch? As if the hero ain't something more important to do than to save your raggedy ass every doggone minute.

LOL

Agreed, your girl has a flavor of a damsel in distress, but she is also a teen, been exposed to a significant degree of trauma, and lives an otherwise sheltered and religious life. The interaction of those experiences would no doubt have an impact on her emotional and interpersonal development. She's doing fairly (really) well for what she's been through.

I wonder if what people are reacting to is her age? I know you are walking a line with that, and a lot of people feel uncomfortable saying that. She's 16, right? If that's the case, her parents could press charges against MJ, but if a psych, MD, teacher, etc were to find out about her relationship to MJ, they wouldn't be mandated to report it to CPS. If 15, it would be mandated.

I know you are super busy, but I look forward to your next update :)

Reviewer: TutThreeSevens Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 08, 2015 05:02 pm Title: Writing Hurt/Comfort

H/C I love reading stories like this not just FF's.  I'm getting a better hang at writing this kind of genre.  Most...no I'll be honest and say all my stories have this component present in the fold. I like the drama it brings to a certain extent.  I've seen some dramatic scenes that make me scratch my head to wonder how that even happens.

Comas paired with retrograde amnesia, a weak helpless for no reason Michael (even when people are trying to help) An OG or Michael that cries at the drop of a hat...kidnapping and violent behavior involving a character who seemed perfectly sane in the last paragraph.  I'm not a fan of when the catalyst to trauma and hurt is ill developed.  Just no to all of the above.

I'm guilty of a few of those "don't" factors you stated lol.  The crazy ex and stalker aspects.  Though I may have rampt up each a bit in my fics.  I've seen that crazy Ex factor ALOT.  I live in NYC...The Bronx more specific and it happens.  My block is relitively peacefull and quiet but 2 years ago a crazy Ex attacked a woman in the building next to mine and she ended up stabbing him to death.  INSANE. I didn't know either of them personally so I don't know the full story just what I heard. The thing about Exs you don't know they're insane when you get with them.  Trama can trigger some bad things in people.

Gawd now I'm scared my fics are cliched LOL.

I'm loving this series!!!

More soon <333

Author's Response:

Oh, I've seen the crazy ex thing...I just if we ran the stats for FF, it would happen a LOT more in FF then in reality. Let alone with the women Michael would associate with. I guess you could say that part of what I do is spot the insanity before it's all out there, so maybe that's why I haven't had that issue with exes? You can blame trauma, but I've seen a shitton of trauma and it's not enough on its own.

BTW I'm working on the When the Dog Bites and the Bee Stings.... segment lol.

Thanks xo

Reviewer: HoneyToTheBee Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 08, 2015 01:26 pm Title: Writing Hurt/Comfort

I like H/C. I like seeing Michael vulnerable, it makes him human. It gives me those awww moments where I just want to hug him and console him. I'm over the amnesia... There are some really good stories that include that, but it's already been done ALOT so unless you've got a different more creative way of using it, I'd leave that alone.

Rape, domestic abuse from the OG's EX... over done. Michael being the constant savior. I've already spoke my mind about that. 

I will say though that Exes do play a HUGE role in people's lives especially if they've spent a long time together or have kids. OR it's Michael Jackson that they dated. I imagine all of his exes wanted him back and the chances of him being stalked by an ex is equally high! I mean unless he's just an average Joe in the story... and even then, most AU stories depict him as this highly attractive sex God that every woman wants. 

but I'm with Coco on the jealous, crazy ex drama. I enjoy it. Yes, there are other ways to add events to a story to make it interesting without including this drama, but it's also hard to avoid it because it is so prevalent in real life.

I've had two crazy exes, AND have been a crazy ex myself. I've been cussed out by my partner's crazy exes and everyone I know has dealt with the same drama. It's part of breaking up and moving on. Exes don't just poof, evaporate into thin air. I think its more rare that two people just happen to mutually decide to form a clean break. 2 out of my 7 relationships were clean breaks. 

One in 6 women are stalked in the United States, btw. Stalking can be defined on so many levels. From following someone religiously on social media to actually following them around in real life. The stalker ex boyfriends... It happens more than you think and I'm sure it'd be even more likely to happen if your man finds you with Michael Jackson.

Author's Response:

I have a soft spot for H/C in books and in life. It's a time for plot growth as well as real-life personal growth.

Woah. That's a lot of drama. Thinking of myself and my friends...only three of us have had stalkers. Mine went away after a year, without any legal action or safety threats. Two have had seriously dangerous stalker exes. In terms of crazy manipulative exes beyond those two? None. Most are accomplished, married, responsible, etc. They just didn't click, someone cheated, and/or, they/we grew apart. Is there something in the water where you are?  I'll admit, I screen guys a lot. I don't have time for crazy....and if I'm going to commit myself, then I have to trust them.  Speaking of which, I should screen friends better lol.

Right, stalking is on different levels. What I was referring to were serious stalkers, like those depicted in fics. Kidnapping, abuse, threatening, types of stalkers. The actual rates of those are around 10% of women and lower for men. Now, celebrities experience that at higher rates.

Reviewer: MichaelManiac Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 08, 2015 11:14 am Title: Writing Hurt/Comfort

Hurt and comfort is probably my favorite genera to read and write. I find it so relateable since everyone's experienced some kind of hurt. I agree that writers can totally take it to the extreme with rape,amnesia and crazy exes. I may have written one story awhile back that over did it with the hurt and comfort. It's embarrassing to admit but we all learn. I especially like to explore the emotional aspect of hurt comfort that I think a lot of writers don't focus on.

Author's Response:

I like to think that you are right about "We all learn". Some people learn very very very slowly, some don't really learn, and some learn and become better writers for it.

I especially like to read the emotional aspect of H/C that I think a lot of writers don't focus on or know how to convey. It takes a certain degree of insight to be able to have interest in writing it, not to mention being able to write it well. Kudos :)

Reviewer: wonderfultonight Signed [Report This]
Date: Mar 07, 2015 10:04 pm Title: Writing Hurt/Comfort

Cool chapter(s)! Good stuff here, good stuff. 

I've always wanted to write a sci-fi/fantasy fic. They seem like they'd have the potential to be so sweepingly huge if done right. I don't know if MJ woud be the best fandom for it, though. I don't even know if I've ever seen a sci-fi MJ fic (I'm sure there are and I'm just blind, of course.)

H/C is a hard one for me. My limits are pretty low, tbh. I adore The Accused, for example, but there are definitely times where I have to skim/read with my eyes like half closed because the hurt scenes are just too much for me. That doesn't mean they're bad though! I've said that many, many times to CaptainEgo/Skywriter. I think it proves just how good they are that they illicit that type of response from me.

I really enjoyed your don't section of this past chapter. H/C has a tendency to come off campy if not taken in doses, I think. If a story tries to include too many of the "common threads" that you mentioned, it gets really bogged down and unrealistic. I prefer if the author really develops and focses on maybe 2 max 3 of those ideas. Any more and it just becomes a soap opera.

On the other hand (this just came into my mind right now, so sorry if it doesn't make sense) stories that aren't specifically H/C stories have a tendency to rely on only 4 major forms of drama: cheating, pregnancy scares, random deaths, and breaking up. What do you think is the difference between supposedly non-H/C fics that use H/C qualities instead of the common "romance genre" tropes and a straight up H/C fic? Where would you draw the line?

Author's Response:

Thanks. I'll be going back to make some changes in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy chapter tomorrow. I'd go under 'search' > select 'advanced search' > select 'science fiction' under 'category options'. There are quite a few on here. I started reading ASchmuck's and rather like it.

LOL, let's be clear: EVERYTHING has the potential to be campy if not done well. For instance, some nicknames in the romance stories . I totally agree - less is more. And more believable = more engaging.

I think that most stories include those as H/C appears throughout our lives. I see most fictional stories as an amalgamation of genres, that are categorized by their main genre. Trying to look at one in isolation isn't realistic. I think that is what you are asking? I'm not quite clear. Sorry.

Reviewer: KerenOlivero Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Mar 07, 2015 05:50 am Title: Writing Science Fiction/Fantasy - Material Added

Don't I know.. when I see authors with more and they have their fics updated monthly amazes me.but thankfully one of mine will wrap up in a few more chapters so it shouldn't be too long.

Author's Response:

I think there are mulitple factors:

-other things going on in one's life

-how readily the ideas are on one's mind

-the degree of preparation done beforehand (some post quickly but then need to completely alter stuff)

-where writing is on one's priority list (e.g. is it before RPing, commenting on others' stories, shopping on Amazon, etc)

I could write 5,000 words in a work day or over multiple days. It really depends on those factors.

Reviewer: KerenOlivero Anonymous [Report This]
Date: Mar 06, 2015 07:18 pm Title: Writing Science Fiction/Fantasy - Material Added

Well besides my 2 WIPs for MJFiction I also have 2 anime related ones in progress over at fanfiction.net..so that would make 4 I am trying to give equal attention to.

Author's Response:

4 stories at once is a lot to balance!