I woke up as the sun rose looking out at the vast horizon thinking about how my life could be so much better. Thinking how I could be out there fullfilling my crushed dreams instead of living in this small, rundown apartment.I thought about it everyday. Sometimes I try to be positive but I'm only lying to myself. I'm not at all happy in my life.
You know how when you're young and you make all these plans for your life? Like how many kids you'll have, what career path you'll take or what kind of house you'll live in? Well once upon a time I had it all planned out.
When I was a young girl I wanted to be an actress. I was going to live in Beverly Hills, have three kids, a rich husband and a vacation house in Martha's Vinyard. Sounds like big dreams doesn't it? Well they all changed when a fine young man came strolling in to chemistry class of junior year.
Michael Jackson was possibly the finest boy at Westhigh. All the girls had a crush on him but he choose me. We where the cutest couple at Westhigh.But most importantly we where young and in love. So much in love that I was pregnant by the start of senior year.
It was very embarrassing. Shameful actually and I wasn't going to kill my baby. Michael was all for that but not everybody was which is why my parents put me out. I was out on my own at 17.
But don't worry; I moved in with Michael but his parents made us get married. I was pregnant, married and a high school drop out all at 17. Michael began working two jobs. That was just enough to get us our own apartment and a few things for the baby.
So, when I was just newly 18 our first baby Madison Joy Jackson was born. We where so proud but at the same time I cursed myself for bringing a baby into the world without the proper means to care for it. I was very depressed after Madison was born. I felt so alone. My parents didn't even congratulate us when Madison was born.
So we went on continuing living like this. On EBT, getting walfare checks and Michael's working hard on two jobs and we we're only 24. Just recently I got pregnant again and gave birth to our second child Mariana Joana Jackson. We really couldn't afford to have another baby and we're hardly getting by as it is.
So this our my life. All because of a stupid foolish mistake we made in high school. Gosh, if I could turn back time.
"Michael, baby get up." I whispered nudging him slightly. I hated waking Michael up in the morning like this only for to go back to work later in the day. I hated to see him work so hard like this. It's really tearing our family apart.
"Good morning baby." He said sitting and placing a small kiss on my lips. I sighed. "Good morning hun." I got out of bed and went to the closet to get Mariana up. We turned our closet into a nursery for Mariana. It was big enough so there was no complaining. We only had a two bedroom apartment and Madison occupied the second bedroom.
"Good morning sweetie." I say caressing her cheek. She was such a pretty baby. If only she hadn't come so unexpected. I went to Madison's room to get her ready for school."Wakey, Wakey eggs and backey!!" I said turning on the light. "Mom!" Madison groaned pulling the covers back over her head. She was not a morning person.
"Madison get up!!" I said. I really didn't have time to deal with her sassy attitude this morning. "No Mom!" She said. I smirked. "Okay, then I'll just have to tickle you until you get up." I said in a sing-song voice. With my free hand I started tickling her belly. She giggled loudly and Mariana joined in. I smiled. My little kiddies brought me some joy.
"I'm up mommy." She said with a smile on her face kicking back the sheets. "Good tuts, let's pick out you're clothes." I replied. He curly hair bounced as she went to her drawer to pick out clothes for school.
******
"I saved up just enough money to pay off the light bill." Michael replied sipping his orange juice as I prepared breakfast. I faked a smile at him. I hated talking bills with him. I never wanted to hear about how much we where struggling this month. "That's nice." I replied as I scooped out bowls of oatmeal.
"Eww oatmeal again!!" Madison said turning up her little nose. "If I have oatmeal one more morning I'm gonna be sick!!" Honestly I was sick of oatmeal too. I'm pretty sure Michael was too. The only person who could have really enjoyed it was Mariana.
I just couldn't take it anymore. I was sick of being reminded of what we didn't have. I was sick of being reminded of what we couldn't have. I was sick of putting my family through this.
I sharply turned away looking out the window as hot tears streamed down my face. I didn't want Madison to see me cry. "Maila, baby are you okay?" Michael asked with genuine concern. "Madison say you're sorry!" He said. "I'm sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Madison said. I ignored her, accepting her apology silently.
"Didn't we almost have it all?" I asked Michael through tears. "Didn't we almost have it all?"
Story Notes:
No copyright infringement intended. Please let me know how it is!! If it is not liked it will be delated. Bad era(I'm sorry but it's my favorite era!!) Once again please feel free to leave a review and let me know how it is!
Chapter End Notes:
Michael: Age 24
Maila Age: 24
Madison Age:5
Mariana Age:6 months
Maila Age: 24
Madison Age:5
Mariana Age:6 months