I fixed my gaze out the window on a flock of birds headed south to avoid the cold weather that was settling in. I always found this to be quite an interesting spectical, how animals just up and leave when they are uncomfortable in their environment. But it was also possible for humans. I admit, sometimes I wanted to be just like those birds.
I thought about it quite often when I was all alone. I thought about what my life would be like if I never became pregnant with Madison, If I never met and married Michael and if my parents never disowned me for my decisions. Sometimes I'd like to think my life would be wonderful at the moment but I always cursed myself for these fantasies. After all Michael and I had been through I would be the most terrible woman on earth to leave him. He was absolutely wonderful.
"Watcha thinkin about baby?" Michael asked keeping his eyes glued to news paper in front of him as I stared at my breakfast. It was getting cold and I hated to waste food but I sort of lost my appetie. It was Saturday and breakfast was pretty quiet. Michael was off today and was hunting for another job in the paper, Madison ate her oatmeal with no protest and Mariana was feeling a little ill today. The whole family was still trying to adjust to the news.
"Just day dreamin." I replied studying his tired face. I always felt really bad about how hard he worked and how I contributed nothing. Michael gives me that look. That knowing look he flashes at me when I'm not revealing the truth. " Day dreamin huh? You know I know you better than that Malia." He replied with a slight smirk. I sighed and gave in.
"Okay Michael, It's just that I just feel like a deadbeat." I replied spooning food into Mariana's mouth. Madison stared at us with innocent eyes of confusion and Michael's head popped up from his newspaper, his eyes burning right through me.
"What are you talkin about??" He asked, his voice rasing an octave. Michael you know exactly what I'm talking about. I know you feel it too. You work so hard and all I do is stay at home! I feel I contribute nothing to this marriage." I finished adverting my eyes from his.
Michael sighed. "Princess, why don't you go in your room a play for a lil bit." He spoke turning his attention to Madison. That mischievious look I knew all too well spread across her young face. "I've gotta leave the room cause you and mommy are having grown-up time. I always miss out on the action." Madison replied. Michael and I exchanged shocked glances."Madison Joy, get in your room." I spoke in my stern voice. I only used that voice when I was serious. "Yes Mommy." Madison replied walking to her room with no protest. I motioned to Mariana but Michael obviously didn't care if she heard the conversation. After all she couldn't even form words yet.
My gaze returned to that handsome face of his. Michael sighed, his sweet lips agape to speak but it was quickly ruined by the door swinging open. "Girl let me tell yoooou!!' Janet's loud voice rang. "JANET!" Michael and I shouted in unison. "What, yall got news of your own?" Janet asked. Michael rolled his eyes. "This is a married people affair, so please, no loners allowed." Michael said. "Well squeeze me Michael Joseph." Janet replied with a roll of her neck. "Janet could you please leave now, this is serious." I declared. "I understand girl, I catch you later down in the laundry room." Janet replied closing the door while glaring at Michael.
Michael let out as sigh of relief once the door finally shut. He placed his large hand over mine. "Baby, you have absolutely no right to feel you don't contribute to anything." He spoke, his voice so soothing. "But Michael, I don't have a job or a diploma and all I do is stay at home." I replied. "But Maila, don't you see you're the most important part of the family. You hold us together, you keep up in line. You're the matriach. I just don't know what I'd do without you. You're always there when I need you, you're understanding, you show me and the girls love. There's absolutely no way I could live without. You know I couldn't run this house hold by myself." I smiled.
"Baby, I dn't ever want you to speak like that again." Michael spoke cupping my face in his hands. "I need you. You're my other half.
Author's Chapter Notes:
A whole year later I'm back!! Life has been hectic!!! Please rate and review!!!! And Is anyone interested in co-writing?? I could really use another great writer!!
Chapter End Notes:
PLEASE REVIEW!!!