Glasses clinked in the background, and a steady hum of chatter filled the small French bistro.  Lights dimmed low, it felt much more like evening than afternoon in the amber lit room.  Small flickering candles centered on the ivory tablecloths, speckles of light shone among the circular tables and the crystal chandeliers hanging on the vaulted ceiling left dainty prisms of light glittering above.  Taking a small stab from my salad, I lifted my fork in the air and took a bite.   Having lunch with my aunt, both of us had been talking about the success Michael was having on tour.  Once again, the longing to see and talk to him stirred up within me and I felt hollow. 

Three weeks.

Michael and I had only spoke once in the entire time he had been gone, and the fear I had about becoming irrelevant to him had grown in the last couple of weeks since I hadn't heard from him.  I was really nervous about seeing him tomorrow.

"So darling you fly out tomorrow?"

Aunt Liz's soft voice broke me from my thoughts.  Her violet eyes framed by her waves of thick ebony hair, Aunt Liz raised a perfectly arched eyebrow questioningly and placed a bite of salad in her mouth.  Biting the inside of my cheek, I nodded.

"Yeah."

Her eyes bore into me knowingly. "He misses you Katie."

A cool breeze whipped through the restaurant and a chill coursed down my spine.  Wrapping my arms around my body I shrugged my shoulders in an attempt to look nonchalant.  "I'm okay."

Aunt Liz's eyes softened, and laying her fork down on the table she reached her weathered hand over the bouquet of lilacs intermingled with candles and placed her hand under my chin.

"Not everyone in your life is going to disappear.  I know it feels that way with all that you've been through.  But it's not true."

Her eyes bore into mine with each word she emphasized, and a bit of the fear binding my heart lessened hearing the soft reassurance.  Giving her a small smile, her eyes brightened seeing I felt a little bit better with the encouragement and she slipped her hand back across the table and picked up her fork again.

"So tell me more about your show."

Reaching for my crystal water goblet I took a sip of water and launched into a few details from the last couple of weeks.

"Well...we're finished shooting for another couple of months...."

______________________________________________________________________________

The Next Day

"Mr. Jackson apologizes, but he got held up in rehearsals.  He said to take you to the hotel suite and he'd meet you there in a few hours."

Disappointment swelled in my chest, but I lifted my chin in the air and smiled brightly.  Turning on her heel, Michael's assistant was dressed in a sage pencil skirt and cream colored V-neck and I followed behind her.  In a private area of the airport, the empty room echoed with the sound of my rolling luggage as my security and I followed down a shortened corridor.  Sliding my sunglasses over my eyes I was thankful that I had dressed in a pair of jeans, a black cable knit sweater, and had pulled my hair up in a ponytail beneath a baseball cap when we stepped outside.  People swarming the taxi curb, I swiftly made my way to the black stretch limo without interruption and I breathed a sigh of relief when the driver took my suitcases from me and opened the door to let me inside.

Soft music playing, I slid inside and mouthed a quick thank you to the chauffer.  Leaning my head back against the soft leather padding I slipped my sandals off and glanced towards the window.  Even through the tinted glass I could see a few curious people shooting looks at the limo trying to figure out who was inside.  Smiling to myself I watched a little girl, probably about three, release her mom's hand and bend down to pick up a quarter off the pavement.  Long strands of her blonde hair blowing gently in the fall breeze, her fingers grazed the pavement for only a second before her mom bent down, picked her up, and hurried off towards the luggage check.

The side to the limo opened again and Michael's assistant climbed in and sat down across from me.  Long red hair pushed back in a clip, emerald green eyes stared back at me curiously and I gave her a small smile.

"How long are you here for?"  She questioned, placing her metallic gold purse at her side. 

"A couple of weeks."

She nodded, like my answer didn't faze her but I saw a hint of alarm in her eyes.  Afraid I knew what that probably meant, I stared at her for moment and posed my next question in dread.

"He did plan a couple of days off while I was here... right?"

Uncomfortably she shifted against the seat and her gaze shifted down to her lap.

"I....."

"Don't even bother answering."  I waved my hand in the air dismissively and glanced back towards the window.  "I figured."  Annoyed, my eyes flashed back to the window.  Rain drops began sprinkling against the glass as the car pulled from the curb and I watched them patter melodically against the window pane, wondering why I had even bothered coming.

"He's really busy."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and kept my tone level. "He always is."

"He said he really would meet you tonight after rehearsals."

"The fact he had to say that to you proves my point." 

I was usually pretty understanding when Michael was on tour, but for some reason his neglect the last few weeks was eating away at me more than usual.  I wasn't a clingy person, but he was all that I could think about. I missed his laugh, his smile, the way his eyes gleamed mischievously back at me when we were bantering. 

Okay, seriously what was wrong with me?

I tossed my ball cap off my head and pulled out my ponytail.  Running my fingers through clumps of hair nervously I tried to get my thoughts away from Michael, but for some reason my mind wouldn't switch gears and I continued to wonder why my thoughts kept circling back.  

Images of Michael's mocha brown eyes floated into my subconscious....

Was it that I was scared Michael would disappear from my life? ....I had a feeling there was more going on than that.

Confusion enveloped me, and I released a sigh.  Both of us rode in silence for the remainder of the ride and when we reached the hotel I heard the long screams from Michael's fans  lining the streets.  The limo sneaked through the crowd, to a parking garage hedged with tall security gates and we pulled up against the curb of the private entrance.  I slipped my shoes on and the chauffer came around and opened the door as I looped my arm through my purse handles. 

I waited for his assistant to scoot out and then followed behind.  The parking garage felt cool even with my sweater on and I shivered and watched one of my bodyguards that had followed behind the limo in a car accept my bags from the chauffer.  Not really bringing much with me, it only took a moment for the exchange to happen and I thanked them both as we turned and headed into the hotel entrance.  Located in an isolated corridor separate from the lobby, white wash walls were sparsely decorated with black oval and square mirrors and two tall metallic white vases sat perched at both edges of the grey elevator doors.  We moved in a group towards the entrance, and the wheels of my luggage plunked against the grout of the black tile floors.  

"What level am I on?"   I turned to look at Ellie questioningly.  She pressed the elevator button and looked at me.  "Your in the penthouse, with Michael."

I nodded my head, relieved at least that he had planned for us to at least be together in the evenings.  The elevators door opened and we all got in.  The doors closed and we all waited until the doors reopened to the living area of the large suite.  The last one out, I inhaled the scent of flowers and glanced to my left to see dozens of flower arrangements, stuffed animals, and cards piled up on a large mahogany buffet table situated beneath a large oil painting as I stepped out.  I smiled, seeing the pile of stuff that must have arrived from fans.

Michael always kept what they sent as long as they could.   It helped him with his insecurities.

I glanced away from the table and gazed over the room.  The living area as large as my entire condo, a plush white leather sectional sat perched on a large orange area rug in front of an entire wall made of glass.    I stepped into the room and saw a large black marble fireplace roaring near an elegant white baby grand piano.   I sat my bags down on the ground and walked to the couch.  Plopping down, I sunk into the plush cushions and I laid down and rested my head on the arm rest.

"Katy-did..."

My head felt heavy, and my eyes fluttered open.

Wait? I had fallen asleep?

Reaching up stretch above my head, I let out a small yawn and my eyes widened in surprise seeing Michael on his knees in the floor directly in front of me.  His dark brown curls framing his face, lines of exhaustion lined his features and a couple beads of sweat glistened against his forehead.  Giving me a smile Michael brushed his hand against my cheek and my heart fluttered my chest.

"Hey there sleepyhead..."  Michael chuckled softly.

Inwardly groaning at how I must look, I shot him a small smile and the irritation I felt earlier disappeared as he leaned forward and brushed a kiss against my cheek.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, still trying to wake up.

The lights dimmed above us, I peaked behind us and saw no one else around.  My eyes switched back to Michael and he winced and leaned his forehead against mine.  "Late.  I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet your plane..."

His voice laced with regret, my heart melted seeing the apologetic look in his eyes and the tired strain in his features.  Strands of his hair tickling against my cheeks, I reached down to grasp his hand and gently tugged.

"You're here now."

Without a word I pulled Michael toward me and he laid down on the couch with me and wrapped his arms around my waist.  Snuggling up against him, my heart pounded heavily feeling his body mesh with mine and I relished him being so near despite the smell of sweat lingering on his skin.


"You stink...." I murmured teasingly.

"I missed you too."  He retorted sarcastically.

Michael's words stirred up the fear I had lodged in my heart for the past couple of weeks and I looked at him uncertainly.  Noticing the change in my demeanor, Michael searched my face questioningly.

"Katie? What's wrong?"

Not wanting to discuss it, I pressed my head against his chest and closed my eyes.

"Nothing."

"....Katie?"

Stubbornly I kept quiet and I felt him slide his head off mine and him lift my chin.

"Katie, open your eyes and tell me what's going on."

Releasing a sigh, I knew he wasn't going to let it go and I opened my eyes and looked at him.   Searching my face in concern Michael tenderly brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes with his other hand and waited for me to answer.

"You....I don't know....didn't call and it was whatever.  I just...."

Michael, knowing me as well as he did, was able to understand what I was saying even with the rambling and he pressed my head back against his chest and laid his head on top of mine again.

"Katie, I'm not going anywhere."

His words were spoken with conviction and I tilted my head up against his chest and looked up at him.  "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"....Me either."