Once I got home, I dropped my things in the sofa and went to the bathroom to wash up and prepare for bed. I slipped on a pink tank top and white shorts. You can’t just run away from him forever… Running away from him isn’t the best solution to your problem… I was starting to feel restless, pacing back and forth my bedroom. What should I do? Should I go back, or should I just hide here forever?
“But Kat, there’s no reason for you to go back there! Well… Except for your family of course” A voice in my mind said. You’re right. Your family’s the only ones you have there… “Kat, don’t listen to her, you have to go back and settle your differences with Kurt. How long can you even stand it?” Another voice said. These voices in my head got to stop because either way, I can’t choose a good solution for my own problem.
But if I leave, how about Michael? I mean I don’t want to leave him here, I mean I’m already used to the fact that I always have him around me and we’re so close that I feel like we’re literally inseparable. I wanted to stay with him longer, but I want to fix my problems with Kurt and face him. No, Kat you and Kurt have nothing to talk about, right? Why are you thinking about “fixing” your “problems” with him? As if you hurt him or what. You didn’t do anything wrong Kat, he was the one who distanced himself away, not you.
I can’t help but look back at how close Michael and I have gotten. We’ve been friends for 8 months but we felt like nothing can keep us apart. I feel like this friendship was actually meant to be, as if what is between us was already predetermined. Oftentimes Annie would tell me how cute we are together or we could just “date” since we’re very close but I don’t know. I mean, he’s charming, he’s nice, he’s talented, he’s funny, he’s everything. But for some reason I only see him as a brother and a best friend, a super ultra-mega best friend. I remember being shy as a mouse when I first met him. Well that’s just typical of me when I meet new people. Michael was shy too, but over time we got over it and got to know each other. We had the same interests, we loved playing, we loved music, animals. But we didn’t share the same interest in reading.
I wonder how does Michael think of me as a friend? Was I a good one, or no? These kinds of questions always boggle my mind when I’m alone. Usually out of paranoia, I start pushing people away from me. In the end I’d regret what I did but things between us don’t go back to the same way it was before.
Back to Kurt, what do I do? Should I go back and see him? Or should I take a bit more time here and get my mind off of him? A part of me wants to stay, but another part of me wants to go back there and tell him everything. Just, everything.
I stood in the mirror, messing with my long jet black hair. When I turned to myself in the mirror, I started studying my face. Big dark brown eyes, a small nose, fair skin, full lips and a fairly rounded jaw. I just shook my head, crashing down on my bed and get some nice sleep thinking about what the hell I should choose.
Chapter End Notes:
Sorry if this chapter is a bit too short, I promise the following chapters will be longer!