all eleven members of the tour band showed up to our night out. it took place in an upscale club that i rented out for the whole night. 

hypnotic lava lamps adorned the assorted lounging tables in the expanse of the play room. directly in front of the large party couch was a small, little stage.

the air in here so cold, i felt that we were on the inside of a freezer. however, the drinks were on their way, and soon no one would notice the temperature anymore.

when i stretched out on the leather couch, i could feel a release in my spine. after the adrenaline of rehearsal wore off, i was always reminded of pain i didn't know i had. i closed my eyes.

i heard the band bicker over which song to sing next. others made small talk about the wembley tour.

i frowned and twirled a cold shot glass over and over between my fingers. where were those drinks by now? sheryl nudged me a few minutes ago and told me she was going to check on them.

i peered at the neon clock mounted on a faraway wall. this club staff was about to be fired, on the spot. bill would do it for me. and i would not be afraid to ask for a full refund.and--god!--where is the new girl?

i swallowed dryly. i was hoping that she wouldn't change her mind. tonight didn't feel right without tatiana beside me, like i fantasized.

"what'chu think, mike?" ricky laughed to me. i blinked in confusion. ricky's smile swelled. "you didn't hear me? i said, what do you think about doing "dirty diana"? should we get rid of it or not?"

jon jumped in to plead his case, again. "look, the song's not even about the princess, so what the hell does it matter? she's not going to be that sensitive. i think it's an awesome song and we need it for our costume changes." he held out his arms conclusively.

they waited on me. my mouth twitched before i mumbled. "i'll have to ask her in person. see what she says."

jon shakes his head and continues to argue beside me with ricky. they both crack up loudly when jenny, my lead guitarist, throws in a joke. i am not listening, so the punchline passes over my head.

bad blondie peeks into the karaoke room with a rabbit-grin on her face. "drinks are here! whoo!" she and the band cheered eagerly. a small cart of spirits was wheeled in.

the drink was nice. i needed something to drown out the dull ache i felt inside.

i rattled when sheryl threw herself next to me. "why are you so far away from everybody else?"

she was in a black, tube-top dress that barely stretched to the middle of her thighs. she wore jingly bracelets on her wrists and silver sandal pumps. when she blinked i could see the lime-green eyeshadow above her fake lashes. her lips were stained with red lipstick.

"hey, isn't that the same shirt from yesterday?" she glanced at my reclusive figure and shook my shoulder. "why do you have such a stick up your ass, mikey? cheer up. you might as well smile while it lasts before i get you back--" she leaned in my ear. "--for that thing you pulled with me this morning."

i turned away from her. my glass is sweating. the band laughs about something. i feel her side press into me, and her hand rests on my shirt. "red is your color, y'know."

"stop it." i mouth when i feel her fingers slip under my collar.

"if you're thinking about that girl, she's not coming."

my eyebrows pinch. "what?"

"did i stutter, michael?" sheryl spoke over the loudspeakers crackling to life with a new song. "she told me this morning, in my trailer. i told her the truth about you and your groupies. i'm actually surprised you haven't made a booty call by now already!" sheryl got up for a bloody mary.

i festered with anger, but i didn't give sheryl the satisfaction of seeing me uncomfortable. i faced forward. "why would you do that?"

"it just slipped." she slurped on her drink. "what's the deal? get up and dance or something--you're making me depressed. damn." she shook her head and snorted.

i couldn't wait a whole month. i had to see tatiana tonight.

all at once, a strange stillness filled the air. my eyes followed everyone's shocked vigil of tatiana inching inside of the reserved karaoke room. she looked relieved to finally find all of us. bill left her side.

her eyes finally settled on mine. my whole body filled with something warm. she looked down at her outfit and peeked at me. her heels strutted up to my black penny loafers just as i finished eyeing her figure.

"i'm...sorry i'm late." she announced, her eyes looking around the room. her eyes returned to my own.

the conversation on the couch halted to give tatiana a hearty welcome. donny slapped a seat next to him, and tatiana politely slithered in the spot.

sheryl took a huge swig of her bloody mary, looking at me sideways. i swear, that girl could guzzle a bottle of vinegar and be perfectly fine.3

tatiana sang at least ten songs in a row with us. we clapped in twos while she belted out "together forever". donny's gritty voice blasted her away at the chorus that he was dying to solo. i'm sure i cried from laughing a few times!

after a long kareoke session, we had dinner. spirits were served like hotcakes. the band got loud and rowdy real fast. i couldn't stop staring at tatiana. she looked so breathtaking tonight; she had even straightened her hair. when she met my eyes every now and then, my heart was leaping out of my chest.

i had to get her alone.

after dinner, i slipped tatiana into the lobby. she gently tugged her forearm from my grasp. "where are we going?" she laughed.

"upstairs."

tatiana is the first to sit on the loveseat. i adore the way her eyes soar across every detail of the room. she is at a complete loss for words. that's what i wanted.

she smiles as her eyes continue to savor the private room. it was complete with a plush sofa, an enchanting greyscale mural, a wall-to-wall glass window that showed the twinkling nightscape below, and a table with a glowing lava lamp that blankets the room and both of us with a deep color of blue.

"how much was all of this?" she turns to me and whispers. i sit beside her on the opposite cushion of the loveseat. "this--this is too much!"

"it doesn't matter," i dismiss. "as long as you like it." i dare to look up into her dove-like eyes.

"i do."

"you had fun tonight?" i ask. we both laugh, remembering don's solo.

she comes back up for air. "yes! you know, i really did! i just think this is so sweet that you all get together like this."

"it's really something."

"m-hm."

my insides fill with butterflies when i remember that tatiana and i are completely alone. the outfit she adorned, a fitting olive halter dress with black heels, sculpted her ballet- body. the deep blue shades of the room's lighting makes her skin glow. i want to pick up exactly where we left off last night.

when i ease towards her, our legs touch. my heartbeat is thudding hard in my ribcage. tatiana doesn't break this mysterious smile on her lips. she's daring me to come closer with her eyes.my clammy palms rest on her forearms, which are also gracefully chiseled from her years of dancing. my thumb runs over the gentle valleys of trained muscles. her body is poetic. it's physical proof of her life's work. god, i couldn't think of anything more attractive.

she's watching me now; it's becoming hard for me to focus. i swallow and lower my chin to hers.i feel a small sigh centimeters away from my lips. firm hands push back on my chest until i'm back where i started.

"now, can we get down to business?" tatiana presses impatiently, like this isn't new to her.

"what would it take for you to come to london with me?" i whispered. i shock myself with how easily this question rolls from my tongue. at first, i didn't know if i would have the balls to finally ask her.

"that's it?"

"yes." i admitted finally. "i didn't want to ask you down there, the guys would make a stupid scene." tatiana didn't deserve that. "i had to find a way to get some privacy. i'll give you anything."

she shrugs. "it doesn't matter how much you give me." tatiana smiles grimly. "i'm flying back to new york for a while. there's a few modelling gigs that just opened, and i'm going to try to land the parts. i have more connections there than la, so i have to take my chances there. i'm sorry."